DRAWMA KINGG Movie Reviews

Tag: Satire

  • THE CRAFT 1996 Movie Review – Ending Explained

    “You can’t even PAY A BILL? What are you good for?” I don’t normally open with a quote, because Dis Drawma Kingg is trying to make an original ART PIECE with every episode. Can’t you surely tell no such thing? So this quote must be pretty important to the whole thing, right? Asking, not telling. Does a human life get respect proportional to the number of bills they pay? Let’s you, the reader, and I, the wroter, take a deep dive into the philosophy of The Craft!

    Fairuza Balk’s work mother posits what I interpret as this: There is no obvious intrinsic value to a human that pays exactly 0 bills. I think that sounds a bit extreme. Aren’t we all worth more than that? How many bills makes us good? At that rate I would guess one or two bills would not satisfy everybody. Maybe it’s like seven bills paid makes people like you for your personality. I hope it’s not 9, 12, or even 14 bills. That’s a lot and seems a most unfair expectation. You may please contest my interpretation of the original argument Nancy’s mother makes in the comment section. Even “I think therefore I am” must be counter argued.

    Could it not be there is something else to measure the worth of any conscious being? My first instinct is how many nachos you’ve eaten (total). Or maybe how many people you’ve shown kindness to. Eh… I might need to spend some time contemplating how likely that one really is. What number of OTHER things could it be? It has to be a number of something. If not a number, how else could it be CONCEIVABLY measured?

    Ending Explained: In the final scene – the witch that was overtly portrayed as crazy for the whole movie is now being portrayed as overtly MORE crazy!

    Final Thoughts: 8/10 Crowns! A much more interesting film than I anticipated. The Craft was not without flaws, yet it was a unique ever changing story. I can’t count the number of times it surprised me. Wow, I hope it’s not number of times you surprise someone that makes you a good person. That would make for some really annoying day-to-day life experiences. Perhaps Fairuza’s work mother was right all along. Maybe we are liked based on how much we provide to the liking or disliking entity. Can we then derive that any positive feelings towards a person means that they provide something to your life? I imagine you are all saying: “No, Drawma, Kingg, I disagree with every assumption you have made on one of the best lines ever in a film! GO BACK TO WRITING YOUR PICTURELESS COMIC BOOK SERIES!”

  • GOOD BOY 2025 Movie Review – Does The Dog Survive?

    After the first 10 seconds of Good Boy, it dawned on me that the movie didn’t have to be good. The dog is cute. Who cares about anything else? He is such a good boii you just love him right away and want to get your own dog (or several). Wanna just talk about dogs instead of movies? We certainly could do that. I want to get me one o’ them good boiis so I can feed him some french fries. Are there dog french fry diseases I have to worry about as a new dog peer (rather than owner, my best friend isn’t a possession!)? I’m sure I won’t be able to stop more stoopid stuff from being written in the course of creating this episode, but we must save room to talk about Good Boy being an awesome film!

    Indy, the lead actor, is so good at acting that it makes you wonder why we don’t only hire dog actors exclusively. Why pay millions of dollars to people with mediocre abilities when dogs that are way better at everything would do it for treats? They don’t even want 1 million paper dollars! New Drawma Kingg campaign: Dogs for ALL acting roles! Sorry hoomans, you’re just not cute fuzzballs with hearts of gold. Would anyone contest my campaign? I’m making solid points.

    Some important thoughts (arrogantly assuming I’ve had at least 2 ever) on Good Boy: There is a chillingly effective creep factor from the apparitions/ghosts/creatures or whatever they are. You have to interpret most of the movie as there is very little speech/explanation. Do you refuse to watch horror films that contain zero dream sequences? Rest easy, Tiger! Apparently Hollywood won’t even endorse canine scary movies without dream sequences. So yes, an otherwise ART FILM included a DOG DREAM SEQUENCE! Indy also appears to hallucinate like people often do in horror movies. Upon witnessing dog nightmares and hallucinations, all I could think about the director was “YOU DIRTY DOG!” I hope that joke isn’t dogcist, because I am not trying to offend dogs (likely 37% of my readership based on unreceived information).

    Does the dog survive?: Yaaa Boiii he do! I hope he canonically got treats after the credits.

    Final Thoughts: 8/10 Crowns critically, 10/10 Crowns cute dogically (c’mon we all want that to be a word). Good Boy is a masterclass in independent filmmaking and dog acting. One particular moment strongly stood out as a hair-standing-up monster scare. I’m pretty sure Indy’s human turns into muddy Trent Reznor from Woodstock ’94 at the very end. HA! You had no idea this review was a sequel to the last NIN episode! HINT: All Drawma Kingg episodes are connected in my cinematic universe that currently only consists of words!