DRAWMA KINGG Movie Reviews

Tag: Satire

  • RESIDENT EVIL 2026 Movie Review – Is It A Good Video Game Movie?

    Extraordinarily non-descript is the phrase I would use to explain the trailer for the new Resident Evil movie. I absolutely did not get what they were going for. All I could guess is that it seemed like a small town slice-of-life take on the franchise. In a way, that did turn out to be true, however, the movie was so much more than that! What made this film great is the fact that it had you feeling like you were actually in a Resident Evil video game! And you weren’t one of the tough cop characters or anyone like that. You were just a regular person dropped into an extremely difficult situation. Let’s jump into a few other video games and see how it feels to be in one!

    My first choice is the famous survival horror game called Sonak dee PigHog. Wow, I’m suddenly inside the data! Oh no there’s stuff I gotta survive! Ahhhhh a hole! Ouch some spikes! Even worse, FISH! Somehow I actually made it to the end of all the platforms on this level. Now I have to avoid an unhygienic scientist’s mustache?! True horror! I’m sure some people have a problem with me classifying Sonak dee PigHog as survival horror, yet I pretty much proved it with direct evidence, didn’t I?

    Next, let’s jump into a video game of the other primary survival horror franchise. I believe it’s called Noisy Pile O’ Dirt. I’m walking around this town full of mist, and various things keep popping out at me, such as oxygen and microscopic germs. As I gather more and more clues, I start to notice that I don’t even have legs at all, and I’ve been doing absolutely nothing this whole time. Turns out, I’m the dirtiest dirt pile that ever was! I’ve just been a stationary pile o’ dirt the whole time that has imagined I’m a person with mobility. On top of that horrific revelation, some of my dirt has smothered an ant, potentially ON PURPOSE! It’s as if my brain locked the memory of my misdeeds, but that’s ridiculous, because I’m just dirt, and I don’t have a brain in the first place.

    Is It A Good Video Game Movie?: Honestly, Resident Evil was probably the best video game movie I’ve ever seen!

    Final Thoughts: 8/10 Crowns. Resident Evil gets an 8 on a scale of all movies, but it would probably get a 10 out of 10 if it were a scale of only video game movies. I truly felt like I was playing one of the games. Every moment was a matter of survival. Do I have anything to defend myself with? Do I have enough supplies? What am I gonna find behind this door when I open it? There were probably other video game movies that attempted to do the same thing from the perspective of actually feeling like you’re in the video game. This is the only one I’ve ever seen that did it successfully. Also, one last note I’d like to say (which is a spoiler if you haven’t seen it yet) is that I would like to make a comparison that I’m sure is a bit cliché from overuse. The ending of this film reminds me of the Ether Drift Theory episode of Aeon Flux. In both cases, the protagonists are literally just the tiniest fraction of a detail away from being successful at the very end. In the Resident Evil case, it’s kind of funny, because you realize the final events make the entire story pointless. You think you’re following a character that does something important, only to see he just becomes like everybody else and fails at surviving. I almost skipped this movie, and I’m really glad that I changed my mind and went to see it. I Highly recommend this one to any horror fan! Pardon me while I turn on my Surreal Dreamcaster and play some more of that game where I get to be a pile of dirt!

  • DIGGER 2026 Movie Review – Is It Worth Watching?

    Dis Drawma Kingg is in the midst of digging a big ol’ hole. I can’t quite seem to remember what inspired me to do this. Maybe it was that Skinny Puppy song – Dig It. Yeah, it had to be that. COMPLETELY UNRELATED, I did go see a Tom Cruise movie earlier tonight. OK, I have a little confession here: I go to see movies even when I think I’m not going to like them in the first place. Sometimes all the movies coming out each week aren’t particularly appealing. Regardless, I’ll probably still be going to see one of them brand new moving pictures, most of which being in color nowadays. A lot of weeks I’ll ask Skinny Puppy for their opinion on which movie I should go to see, but they usually just tell me to rewatch Repo! The Genetic Opera. Oh yeah, the movie this week! I went to see Digger with Tom Cruise despite thinking the movie looked bad. There just wasn’t anything else I’d rather see. Yup, we’re having one o’ dem weeks.

    Uh-oh I dug too far, fell into my own hole, and now I’m in freefall! There’s weird stuff down here! I even see DIRT! Plus there’s no industrial music playing, which is pretty dumb. Wait, I see something. A glowing shine, like buried treasure…since I’m already stuck down here in this deep hole, I’m gonna use my tools to try to get to the shiny [some]thing. Almost there. [Reaching a dramatic hand through] Got it! A container with alien writing on the outside! Never mind, I had it upside down. Probably English, I just can’t tell for sure because of my illiteracy. Should I perhaps OPEN it?

    All right, all right, I’ll talk about the Com Truise movie (or whatever that guy’s name is). Hmmm that’s pretty odd. I usually interrupt the movie review with a non sequitur, but this time I’m interrupting the non sequitur with my movie review. Whatever, so this Digger movie (which had zero Skinny Puppy songs I might add) started out really good. Without giving it away, the narrative takes a drastic turn maybe about 45 minutes into it. I kind of lost interest once it does the switcheroo. I was basically sitting there mad, because a movie that had my full engagement suddenly lost me. Now, events take a second drastic turn a little bit later on. This drastic turn somewhat pulls you back in, just not all the way.

    Is It Worth Watching?: If you’re someone that likes quirky and odd movies, you’ll probably enjoy it. Personally, Digger is definitely not one of my top movies of the year.

    Final Thoughts: 7/10 Crowns maybe. Digger gets this high of a Crown Rating for being a pretty well put together film, and the acting was also very good. In terms of how much I liked the film, 7 is a little bit high. This was a weird movie-theater experience with how it pulled me in when I was expecting a dull movie only to spit me back out when the things I don’t wanna spoil happened. I guess you probably wanna know what’s in the buried container with unreadable (for me) letters on it. Prying it open now with my kinggly hands — BEHOLD a cassette tape of Back & Forth by Skinny Puppy! Wow, my review turned out to have more Skinny Puppy than that digging movie I just saw.

  • PHONE BOOTH 2002 Movie Review – Is It Worth Watching?

    Your dramatic Kingg is hanging out in a phone booth. Watch this, I’m gonna make a prank call. Excuse me, is your refrigerator receiving power? It is, huh? THEN YOU BETTER STUFF ALL YOUR FOOD IN IT!” [CLICK]. That sure was fun, though I can’t believe I just spent $1.75 on a prank call. Phone booth inflation. One thing that I found interesting about the movie Phone Booth is that it wasn’t made in the period of time when phone booths were popular. They explain very overtly in the beginning of the film that phone booths are becoming extinct, and this takes place after they are already nearly gone. Around this time everybody was getting pocket calculators that were also telephonic communicators. All the math teachers at the time kept telling students that they wouldn’t always have a calculator in their pocket. Odd, since mathematicians are usually good at predicting things. I always kind of wondered if this movie would be worth watching, because I thought it might get boring to be stuck mostly in one setting for a feature-length film. And now I finally watched it, which means I get to have an opinion!

    Before I reveal the truths that I saw on the TV box, why not make a few more calls? Here, for this one I won’t do a prank call. I’ll just dial a random number and see where the conversation goes.

    Drawma Kingg: What are you up to?

    Stranger: Not much today, just peeling some potato chips.

    Drawma Kingg: Cool cool. Hey, can I ask you – what are your thoughts on this one life we get?

    Stranger: I would say it’s a sea of love and a sea of difficulty at the same time. Hold on, I forgot to ask – who’s calling?

    Drawma Kingg: Uhhhh… your good friend, Drawma Kingg.

    Stranger: I don’t know any dramatic kings!

    Drawma Kingg: Oh no I’ve been caught! Wait a second, did you say earlier that you were peeling some potato “chips”? Not just regular potatoes? 

    Stranger: No, I meant what I said. I’m peeling the chip form.

    Drawma Kingg: But why? Why would you do this?!

    Stranger: It relieves my stress! Not that it’s any of your business!

    I got off of that call real quick. All the data clearly suggested we were two different people. Them peeling potato chips, and me, a person that doesn’t want to be around anyone that peels potato chips. Unless of course there is a good medical reason for such bizarre behavior. I guess you could argue that any activity that relieves your stress could count as medically beneficial. Rats. That stranger had really interesting opinions on life too. I should’ve been friends with this person, and I just hung up on them before I got their name. How will I ever find them and apologize?

    Is It Worth Watching?: I wouldn’t say Phone Booth was a great movie, but I will say it was an enjoyable movie, and it did not bother me in the end that it was mostly in one setting. The tension still felt exciting.

    Final Thoughts: 6.5/10 Crowns. Phone Booth was a fun movie to watch, I don’t have a problem with it overall. Still, there was a fair share of plot points that seemed pretty bad or different actions of the characters that were a bit far-fetched. These are the main things preventing it from getting a higher rating. I am glad the phone booth got the credit it deserves in a film, being that you almost never see one anymore. This section is always supposed to be my final thoughts, but don’t you think I should make one more call before I go?

    [Bring Bring]

    Benny: This is Benny speaking.

    Drawma Kingg: [Thinking to himself “Sweet, I got a name right away!”] Hi Benny! So good to hear your voice. I’ve missed you!

    Benny: I’ve missed you too buddy. Now what did you say your name was again?

    Drawma Kingg: [Taking a wild chance] You can’t tell by listening to my voice by now?

    Benny: Drew Kensington?! Sorry Drew it took me a second! This IS Drew, right?

    Drawma Kingg: This is [mumbles “Drawma Kingg” under his breath, so it’s not very audible].

    Benny: Oh good I thought so, Drew. So how’s ah, business going for you?

    Drawma Kingg: Totally great! I got a coffee maker, disposable plates and utensils, some napkins too.

    Benny: Your office sounds real nice. I’d like to visit it sometime if you’d have me.

    Drawma Kingg: I can’t take this anymore! I have to tell you the truth! I’m not Mr. Kensington! I’m Drawma Kingg! I actually called you randomly, cause I’m doing a bit about making calls in a phone booth. Do you hate me now that I am a stranger? Or is it possible that we could still be friends?

    Benny: So you lied to me this whole time?

    Drawma Kingg: Actually, I mumbled Drawma Kingg when you asked me. I should’ve enunciated it more clearly.

    Benny: You didn’t really say you were Kensington? You said “Drawma Kingg”, you just mumbled it a bit? Yeah we can still be friends. I’m not gonna be mad at you for mumbling a couple of words.

    Drawma Kingg: Wow, you are really a good person, Benny. I’m not sure I would’ve forgiven me. I’d be happy to show you around the office so you can see the coffee and several napkins sometime.

  • 9 TO 5 1980 Movie Review – Is It Worth Watching?

    I watched 9 To 5 the day it came out! Sorry, I misspoke. I watched it 46 years late. Yeah, that’s gotta be the right one. Nobody really talks about this movie being a horror film. Still, that was my immediate thought. 9 To 5? Eight hours of work in a row? Pretty terrifying idea to me! I mean honestly, does anybody wanna do that? I always thought people liked fun and going to Mkdon Al’s and stuff like that. Maybe I’m wrong. Other than the terrifying notion of eight-hour workdays, 9 to 5 was a really enjoyable movie! The three main characters had a lot of personality on screen, and the narrative and the humor held up surprisingly well.

    One time Dis Drawma Kingg had to work 7 to 3! That’s even scarier, because you have to get up two hours earlier! I woke up excessively early that morning, had some coffee, brushed all teeth, and hopped in the Drawmamobile. I drove four entire miles to get to the worksite! Once I was there, they kept asking me to do stuff! I already got up early and drove 4 miles, what more did they want from me?! It was like they wanted EVERY ounce of my strength and my energy. Have any of you ever experienced an unusual employment situation like this?

    After the early absurd things they were asking me to do (such as remove my jeweled crown and for me to stop criticizing everything), they then made me watch a small area of road for hours! I think they wanted me to also say things about what I saw, but I wasn’t sure on that. Their expectations were unclear. See, what happened was, a vehicle collided into our work materials, and then everybody started yelling at me. I don’t know what they were mad at me for, when I wasn’t driving the car that crashed into everything. Hmm… Almost like they expected me to notify them of what I was seeing or something like that. I don’t know, just too many different things they were asking me to do in the course of a work shift. I think waking up and driving there should’ve been more than enough to get paid. 

    Is It Worth Watching?: Yes, 9 To 5 was very funny and made a lot of points that are still relevant today.

    Final Thoughts: 8/10 Crowns. Dolly Parton, Jane Fonda, and Lily Tomlin carried this movie with awesome star power! The social criticisms were meaningful, and although the workplace may be somewhat more mature today, there was still a lot of parallels in current social interactions. This is the kind of movie that could easily be remade at any point in time in order to approach workplace problems in a modern era. Dis Drawma Kingg gives the stamp of approval on 9 to 5, highly recommending this film to anyone. That is, as long as you can get past the initial [barely conceivable] horror of having to work eight complete hours in one day!