DRAWMA KINGG Movie Reviews

Tag: Satire

  • MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 1996 Movie Review – Is It Just An Inferior Version Of The Master Of Disguise?

    Drawma Kingg confession: before this review, I had never seen a James Bond, Mission Impossible, or Jason Bourne movie. Maybe it should stay that way with the Bourne series, but I’ll review a Bond film eventually. Today, we discuss 1996’s Mission Impossible where that Com Truise guy wears a bunch of funny looking disguises to outwit his opponents. During the viewing experience, I began to ponder – is this film just an inferior version of The Master Of Disguise?

    Now I know The Master Of Disguise came out six years after Mission Impossible, so I’m not suggesting the 1996 blockbuster ripped off a previously existing film. What I am asking is – if you haven’t seen either movie and you’re holding the new 4K VHS tapes in your hand side-by-side, which one should you watch for a superior experience? SPOILER: none of Com Truise’s disguises are turtles or even human-turtle hybrids.

    Do you enjoy movies with bad writing? I genuinely thought this popcorn flick would have to be fairly good since it spawned so many sequels. The writing was terrible, convoluted, dull, boring, and unengaging. No, not The Master Of Disguise. I’m still talking about Mission Impossible. I will admit that there was one single moment of brilliant dialogue that far exceeded anything I could have ever written myself. Two characters are having a serious conversation:

    “What are we downloading?”

    “Information.”

    Is It Just An Inferior Version Of The Master Of Disguise?: Yes, and the ratio of honest opinion to me telling a joke here is more complicated than you might expect.

    Final Thoughts: 2/10 Crowns. Aside from the bad writing, Mission Impossible was also not a good action movie. Sadly, it was just not exciting at all. The Master Of Disguise really isn’t a great movie itself, just by comparison. I mean, it’s a cinematic adventure where Jennifer Esposito steals your heart, and Dana Carvey uses a telepod or something to splice his DNA with a turtle!

  • LEE CRONIN’S THE MUMMY 2026 Movie Review – Is It Worth Watching?

    OH YEAH! Finally, a theatrical sequel to the Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode where Frylock is huggin’ The Mummy! I’ve been waiting all week to see this anticipated return to form in the genre of mummy movies. Lee Cronin’s The Mummy was one of the wildest scary movies I’ve ever seen, and I must answer the difficult question: is it WORTH WATCHING?

    Kay I’m gonna start talkin’ about something else…

    I was doing some business in New York City with another person that was also in New York City for the purposes of this story. He didn’t seem to want to agree to the full terms of the deal. “Why do I have to get only soup and salad for my next three unrelated professional business dinners?” and “Why do I have to be dressed in cosplay at the moment I sign the contract?” are the kind of questions he would ask me. My acquaintance just couldn’t seem to see the big picture.

    Drawma Kingg: If we offer you 7 more U.S. dollars, will you take the deal?

    Business Person: 8 dollars, no cosplay.

    Drawma Kingg: Ugh, my employer won’t be happy about this… 6 dollars, no cosplay.

    Business Person: Sparky chum, that right there is a deal.

    [Signs contract]

    Drawma Kingg: I was surprised you were focused on the cosplay paragraph more than the one about the corporation getting to name your first two children.

    Business Person: Dressing in cosplay of my choosing would have been humiliating.

    Drawma Kingg: Well just wait till you have Gloopy and Moppin’ in your life.

    Business Person: What?

    Drawma Kingg: Oh never mind.

    NOW: Back to whatever I was talking about…

    Is It WORTH WATCHING: Yes for those that can handle intense/gross horror. No, for those with a mid to low tolerance.

    Final Thoughts: 7.5/10 Crowns. Lee Cronin’s The Mummy was legitimately scary in a few different ways, and the story was interesting enough. Particularly, the film was frightening in terms of the “family horror” subgenre — by having a supernaturally possessed family member just sleeping over there in the next room every night. One highly relatable scary scene: just when you think coyotes are cute, they start eating you! DISAPPOINTMENT! Such a feeling arrived because there was no Shake, Meatwad, OR Frylock anywhere in the whole movie! Makes you wonder if it was even an Aqua Teen sequel to begin with, yet each viewer must decide that for themselves!

  • METROPOLIS 1927 Movie Review – Is It Worth Watching?

    “Why don’t you ever review any silent films?” Dis Drawma Kingg gets asked this question all the time. I’ll just be walking down the street and people keep shouting it at me! In today’s episode (#54) we will deeply analyze the 1927 movie Metropolis!

    I’ve been meaning to watch Metropolis for many years. Perhaps the universe nudged me to wait until I created drawmakingg.com so that episode #54 would eventually come into existence. Shortly into the movie, you realize that watching it is going to require significant effort. Characters say lots o’ things to each other and you just have to interpret what the words are.

    One scene I managed to interpret:

    Character 1: I do believe you still owe me 30 bucks.

    Character 2: Yeah, but I ain’t payin’ it.

    Character 1: You liar! You promised me! I thought we were friends!

    Character 2: We were, but your friendship ain’t worth 30 bucks to me.

    Or this other riveting scene:

    Character 3: You don’t look like yourself today.

    Character 4: Anguish, agony, despair, existential dread, hopelessness…

    Character 3: You are experiencing those feelings?

    Character 4: Pain, hunger, would like a cookie, disturbed, unnerved, unchallenged, exhausted.

    Character 3: I can get the doctor!

    Character 4: No! I only feel this way because someone took my parking spot!

    Character 3: All of those emotions just from something as simple as that?

    Character 4: Have you SEEN the traffic outside?

    Is It Worth Watching?: Yes, if you are a lover of cinema, film history, or silent films.

    Final Thoughts: This may be the hardest Crown Rating I have ever had to decide. Metropolis likely would have felt like a 9 or 10 if I were a movie critic in 1927. The sets were amazing, the artistic vision of the whole metropolis was unique, and the android design is remarkably cool. I think I will have to go with 9/10 Crowns official Drawma Kingg rating of Metropolis! From this episodic experience we all now know why it’s bad to encourage me to interpret silent films. So quit yellin’ it at me when I’m taking a casual stroll down the local street!

  • PROJECT HAIL MARY 2026 Movie Review – Is It Worth Watching?

    Ryan Gosling in spaaaaaace! That may not legally be a sentence, yet I’ve always thought it a myth that a sentence needs specific components. Just like it’s a myth that writers (such as Dis Drawma Kingg) are obligated to be articulate. Oh yeah, I went to see Project Hail Mary, because there was nothing more interesting playing at the movies this week.

    Don’t get me wrong, I love science fiction movies, and I honestly do think Ryan Gosling is a good actor. The unenthusiastic attitude was merely due to the fact that all I knew about the movie was Ryan Gosling in space. This was certainly not the first, nor do I intend it to be the last, time I entered a movie knowing virtually nothing about it. Ignorant viewings are actually pretty fun! Also, I had a slight suspicion this could secretly unfold as a long-awaited sequel to Leprechaun 4: In Space.

    Aren’t movie trailers basically just an evil collection of spoilers? Maybe I go too far with the word evil. I mean, that’s pretty rude of me to call anything evil unless I am 100% sure. Regardless, I see movie trailers for what they really are —a rapid fire grouping of spoilers.

    Is It Worth Watching?: To my surprise, I really enjoyed Project Hail Mary.

    Final Thoughts: 7/10 Crowns. Project Hail Mary worked reasonably well as a whole film. I did find myself highly skeptical of the science, but Dis Drawma Kingg is not qualified in this area enough to make any worthwhile arguments. My only real disappointment in the film was the fact that Ryan Gosling in spaaaaace turned out NOT to be a sequel to Leprechaun 4: In Space. Although… that one character did look like it could be the child of the ultimate villain of the Leprechaun Universe known as Mittenspider!