Category: movie-reviews

  • DRAWMA KINGG SIDEQUEST #1 [Not A Movie Review] – THE CONCLUSION OF BAN SMITH IN THE RAIN

    Ban passes through the stare of the massive gate to the hilltop area. The storm is worsening. Ban doubts the rain is anywhere close to its peak yet, and now the winds are starting to become overbearing. He was almost in sight of his goal, the hilltop cabin.

    There would be no more chase. Aether Platinum was there, weapon in hand. He knew this day was inevitable. Aether Platinum was a man with a very different point of view in life than Ban Smith. The two intellects would now collide.

    Aether Platinum: I see Rodust must have talked.

    Ban: Yeah, but you wouldn’t believe the price!

    Aether: You would be surprised what I would or wouldn’t believe!

    Ban: I know you committed those crimes. I put it all together.

    Aether: I won’t insult you by denying it, Ban. You are the only one that saw how these events were connected.

    Ban: But I still haven’t figured out WHY! Tell me WHY you did it! I have to know!

    Aether: Why does anyone do anything? It’s just the circumstances of their life experiences.

    Ban: You are a fool to think you will win me over with any kind of philosophical thinking! You are a VILLAIN, and I’m telling the police everything I know!

    [The appearance of thunder is now nearly punctuating their words.]

    Aether: Tell me this Ban! Which is better: EXISTENCE or INEXISTENCE?

    Ban: Well, most people would rather live than to die!

    Aether: Which is better: BEING or BECOMING?

    Ban: Being I guess— NO! Becoming!

    Morkyzorg: Hmm… interesting choice. 

    Unbeknownst to Ban at this point in time – Aether Platinum’s nickname was Morkyzorg. You probably would have to be a member of Aether’s inner circle to know that though. 

    Morkyzorg: If you would happen upon a delicious sandwich would you share it with a friend or keep it all for yourself?

    Ban: I don’t mind sharing usually, but it probably depends on the sandwich. Maybe if you could tell me what type of sandwich specifically we can sort this out.

    Aether Platinum: Sorry, philosophy gives us no specifics. It doesn’t work that way.

    Ban: Okay I have had enough with these absurd questions! I am sincerely annoyed at what you seem to feel is DEEP thinking.

    Ban felt an energy that had him convinced Aether was ready to attack. He started to wonder if he was satisfied with the life he lived if everything ended here tonight. Ban never used guns, because it was never his intention to kill anyone in his life as a private eye. However, he always kept a small pocket knife in his boot just as a last resort means of self defense. The storm was worse than ever, and the two men stood still staring at each other, clothes soaking wet. Aether suddenly got an odd smirk on his face and his eyes changed.

    Ban felt like time slowed down, and he started envisioning the one he loved most out of everyone he ever knew in his life. His body and mind came to a sense of peace. Just as Ban snapped out of his hallucination, he saw Aether ready his weapon. Without any hesitation Bandolier Smith grabs his pocket knife, runs towards Aether Platinum and lunges at him! They spin on the ground just for a second as Ban successfully subdues Aether in a crazy quick multi combo that no one would ever believe a regular guy was capable of doing if you described it afterwards!

    Ban: You know this town won’t let you off for your crimes. Like that time you ate Sharon’s pie that she was really excited about — and that’s just an early example! That was long before you beat Harry real bad at Sidewalk Fighter 2 at the town arcade!

    Aether: I actually do feel bad for that one…

    Ban: I even directly witnessed the time you won the big TV in the raffle. The event runners maintained it was a fair raffle, but EVERYONE ELSE wanted that TV too!

    Aether: And there was that time I killed someone.

    Ban: THE TIME YOU WHAT?!

    THE END

  • WEAPONS 2025 Movie Review – Ending Explained

    Weapons starts out claiming “This is a true story.” Yeah but how troo? I mean, there are different levels of chrooth! Dis Drawma Kingg was very hyped to see this movie. I have to admit, I was a bit disappointed. It’s not bad by any means, it just left me wanting in a number of areas. I would say this is more of a mixed opinion review because weapons definitely had its merits.

    Generally the acting was very good in the film. Also, I shouldn’t prolong mentioning that this review is ULTRA SPOILER – so you should only read on if you’ve already seen the movie or do not want to. OK, so I did really like the villain in Weapons. She was this odd sorta witchcraft practicing kinda aunt I guess? They don’t really fully explain her backstory. I would like to note that I really thought she was going to transform into a monster ant that was collecting a hive of people to do her bidding. There is a scene where some characters are watching ants on the television, so I was like is she gonna be a big creepy bug monster ANT AUNT? How wrong I was! As time continues to pass, I’m still pretty sad there was no ant aunt.

    Sos first the movie starts out with the teacher as the main character. Then maybe 30 minutes or sos into the movie it switches to another character’s perspective. I think “Oh cool! A movie with two different main characters!” Again, how wrong I was! One time a dog ate some crispy potato chips, but that has nothing to do with this review. There were like six different main characters. You keep getting the events from different perspectives. This was fun at two and three, but then I just started to realize they weren’t going to move the story much further in time because they were going to run out of minutes. How right I was this time! The movie has a climax with barely any resolution after. Then it just ends abruptly.

    Ending Explained: The villain is defeated and the kids are saved. It was the aunt.

    Final Thoughts: 6 or 7 out of 10 crowns. I think the movie started out strong but got almost lighthearted and silly in the middle. Plus there was no ant aunt monster at the end. It definitely loses points for that and more points for having a double dream sequence.

    “Oh noooo wayyyy that right there waz just a dream? At least I’m fully awake now! Ahhhhhh! [sumtin’ scary wakes them up again] Oh noooo wayyyy that one waz just a dream too!!”

  • THE NAKED GUN 2025 Movie Review – Is It Worth Watching?

    Have you ever taken advice from someone and soon realized it was horrible advice? This happened to me with The Naked Gun (2025). When I saw previews for the new Naked Gun flick, I thought it was going to be one of the worst movies of all time. I did not plan to ever watch it. Reviews started pouring in. Even the critics seem to be enjoying this movie. Dis Drawma Kingg believes in having a healthy amount of self-doubt, because no one is right 100% of the time. So I said “Maybe I am the one who is wrong!” I went to see it over my best judgment which turned out to be my WORST judgment!

    3/10 Crowns and it only gets higher than a zero rating because of Pamela Anderson. She should have been the lead over Liam Neeson. The main problem was that I found the whole movie to be as painfully unfunny as the preview. Technically, there were a handful of times the jokes landed enough to get a half giggle out of me. These jokes only make you laugh in the way that someone gets a reaction out of you from telling a joke you were not expecting. You may have technically laughed slightly, but then you lose respect for the person after realizing their humor style is mostly various puns. The only scene I really liked was with a snowman they brought to life. Even this scene was more just amusing than it was laugh out loud funny though. In my personal and dramatic opinion, The Naked Gun is NOT worth watching. HOWEVER! [dat counts as a full sentence] I may be the minority opinion in thinking this movie is not funny at all.

    My instinct was to avoid this movie, but I trusted other people over myself. Self-doubt must have kicked in, but I was right the first time with my initial instincts. Here’s the deal (and what I really wanted to talk about because obviously I don’t care about The Naked Gun) — I believe that advice from others usually steers me wrong in life. Like, my instincts are usually better than what someone else is telling me to do. The problem is Dis Drawma Kingg is only human and has certain areas of knowledge that are lacking. I don’t know everything so I have to come to other experts in other fields to resolve various issues in life. What if this person gives me bad advice?

    What I’ve been getting at this whole time is this question: When should you take advice, and when should you reject it? Everyone likes to give advice, but (just in case you haven’t noticed) people think a lot of crazy things! I would highly advise against a lifestyle of following ALL of the random advice you get without question. Let’s try some examples:

    SCENARIO #1

    Advisor: You should eat dis.

    You: You mean, that brownie that I saw you drop on the floor?

    Advisor: He he he. You should eat dis.

    SCENARIO #2

    [Someone knocks at your door]

    Advisor: You should buy this vacuum cleaner! God does it suck!

    You: Like in a good way or in a The Naked Gun 2025 kind of way?

    In Scenario 2, I would advise to never buy ANYTHING from those sneaky door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesmen. But what if I gave that advice to someone and it turned out they didn’t already have a vacuum cleaner and then they died of unvacuumed floor related injuries? I guess that’s just the normal amount of self doubt in me.

    SCENARIO #3

    Advisor: You should vote for this guy! He is going to do GOOD things!

    You: Isn’t he the guy that used to beat up lil ol’ laydeez at the grocery store?

    Advisor: Come on, he’s like 80! Times were different back then.

    You: Instincts: I’m not so sure that was ever a thing since the advent of the grocery store…

    SCENARIO #4

    Your Doctor: Do this and you will be healed!

    You: You start to suspect your doctor is not a knowledgeable person but merely just CONFIDENT. You become 92% sure as you watch him write you a prescription to eat more bacon while he dances the Macarena incorrectly.

    My old rule of thumb was to stop taking advice from individuals and only strongly consider it if a lot of people are saying the same thing. That rule has now been completely shattered by a large number of people on the internet advising me to see The Naked Gun! I’m like Bizarro Alanis Morissette – it’s the BAD advice I just DID take!

  • TOGETHER 2025 Movie Review – Ending Explained

    Together is a sweet love story between Alison Brie and Mike Pancake. It’s Dave Franco actually, but once your name is Pancake in a movie you can’t go back. Old school Hollywood rules. So this pancake was sorta in love with another pancake, and suddenly the two pancakes became STUCK together!

    Now I love pancakes as much as the next person that has ever tried them, but to see two of ‘em STUCK together is gross! I should probably state that I thought Together was actually a very good movie overall. And I loved that it was very dramatic. It was also pretty gross though! If you can get past that issue, the story is pretty fun and comes together nicely by the end. There were a few moments where the tone was a bit odd with the dialogue choices in certain situations. Also, there were more comedic moments than I was expecting for a movie with such an extreme plot. It worked that way, regardless. The funny comments helped make it more palatable that we have to witness two pancakes merging together.

    k I’m just gonna start talking about sumtin’ else now. Ban Smith was a private eye. He liked investigating clues and stuff. He was on a CASE. Arriving at a light green colored house, he knocks on the door. A man greets him with the most chillingly oppressive stare and invites Ban inside. There is a nice fireplace illuminating the living room. The two sit. 

    Man: What brings you to my home this melancholic evening?

    Ban: Are you not the man they call Rodust?

    Rodust: Yes, I have been called by that name. Usually at least a few times per day.

    Ban: Rodust, do you have INFORMATION for me?

    Rodust: I am always holding information. What will I get in return?

    Ban: So that’s the way it’s gonna be? OK. I will offer you this Baby Cat Keychain they just gave me at the gas station for spending over 20 American dollars.

    Rodust:  This offer is acceptable to Rodust. The one you seek is in the hilltop cabin. I would leave quickly. Plus the sooner I have this Baby Cat Keychain, surely the better!

    [Ban hands the keychain to Rodust]

    Ban: Additionally, whenever I again hear talk of the strange rumors people say about Rodust – I will stand up and defend your honor!

    Rodust: No need, Ban. I assure you most of those rumors are true.

    Bandolier Smith is walking on the trail to the hilltop cabin as it starts to rain. The weather is looking like it will be quite grim in the late night. He thinks to himself: “Will I regret giving up my Baby Cat Keychain?” He was feeling an unusual combination of both determination and heartbreak. Odd things keep appearing to his left or right. Dark figures almost in view – yet there is nothing each time he turns his head. Ban was never one to believe in the supernatural, but he couldn’t help feeling like he was surrounded by ghastly entities in the dark of this lonely path. There! Just ahead! Ban was now in view of the towering gate to the hilltop area.

    Ending Explained: The two main characters fully merge into one body. There is now a hybrid Mike Pancake and Alison Brie person and they seem to be fine with the situation.

    Final Thoughts: 8/10 Crowns. Together was better than I had anticipated! It’s just only for people that can handle creepy and gross horror films. Dis Drawma Kingg ain’t afraid of no movie! I can usually handle any film, but even I was fairly grossed out in some of the scenes. I think that is kind of the point though, and it was good at accomplishing it’s task. I would like to add that Dave Franco won some street cred for doing an interesting offbeat movie, thus I will attempt to try to stop calling him Mike Pancake. This means I will have to defy the vastly ancient and spiritual Hollywood rules. Luckily, your brave Drawma Kingg has always been a rule breaker!