DRAWMA KINGG Movie Reviews

Category: movie-reviews

  • TRON: ARES 2025 Movie Review – Ending Explained

    In this age of grand cinematic competition, what really sells tickets is the presence or absence of Gillian Anderson. At least, for Dis Drawma Kingg anyway. I admit that I am assuming this holds true for all other ticket buyers. Tron: Ares was surely not the disgusting pile of garbage I expected it to be. It was a lovely pile of garbage! Well… I suppose I shouldn’t say “pile of garbage” since I really liked the film. Let’s say it was a lovely GARDEN of garbage. The filmmakers couldn’t possibly be offended by that, could they? Y’ see, rather than a Morbin Time sequel with a Nine Inch Nails soundtrack, it turned out to be a philosophical DEPECHE MODE movie with a Nine Inch Nails soundtrack. If you’re a lover of electronic music, you can’t get any luckier than that!

    Visually, Tron: Ares was excitingly exceptional! Green screen movies are not generally my favorites, but the special effects quality did not have me complaining at all. Early on, you see a creepy face talking to the Morbin Time guy. This is the real world creator of these digital entities communicating with his progeny. We experience a dialogue between God and his creation. Sacrilege! Not the being able to have a direct conversation with your creator part, more so the insinuation that Morbin Time is God’s most powerful and beloved of all his constructs!

    “I can’t put my love of Depeche Mode into words” says M. Time. Never have I related more to a movie in my entire overly dramatic life! This came after an earlier conversation about Depeche Mode. That’s right, not just one, but TWO Depeche Mode conversations occur in Tron: Ares. After the first one, I wrote myself a little note to jokingly write about how it’s a movie about Depeche Mode. When the second conversation happened near the end, I was like OMDMG (Oh My Depeche Mode Gods!) this really is about the philosophy of what it means to love Depeche Mode! This is when I realized I love Tron 3, because it was legitimately a movie made for people who love both Nine Inch Nails and Depeche Mode.

    Two main criticisms need to be addressed. First, Gillian Anderson was the best actor by far, and yet her character served no particular purpose to the plot. I wanted her to be the protagonist or perhaps turn out to be the primary villain. Instead, her character is written in such a non-crucial way that you could take her out of the whole script and the main plot would not change at all. In one scene she is attacked by one of the data peeps, but fortunately Dana Scully is a medical doctor. You can’t kill a doctor! They can just use their heal abilities. The implication is that she really dies, which makes no sense when she could have done doctor stuff to herself! I really disliked that plot hole. 

    Second criticism, the only Depeche Mode song we get to hear is Just Can’t Get Enough, a song from their first album written by Vince Clarke. Don’t get me wrong, I love Vince Clarke for his contributions to the first Depeche Mode record as well as his later groups, Erasure and Yaz/Yazoo. When discussing the glorious unmitigated beauty of Depeche Mode, Martin Gore’s songwriting is key! Vince Clarke left Depeche Mode after the first album, and Martin wrote almost every Depeche Mode song after that. Just Can’t Get Enough is literally the ONLY Depeche Mode song the average person might know that WASN’T written by Martin Gore. This was absolutely the wrong track to use in a movie that discusses the philosophical beauty of Depeche Mode’s songwriting. I’ve noticed that Just Can’t Get Enough shows up a lot in movies, TV shows, and commercials. I can only guess that it is somehow easier/cheaper to license Vince Clarke compositions than it is for Martin Gore compositions. That is just one of my many Depeche Mode conspiracy theories though. Another for example — keyboard player, Andy Fletcher supposedly has an unreleased solo album called Toast Hawaii that is said to have never surfaced because it was weak material, but maybe it is really due to it accidentally summoning evil demons when audible OR even more plausibly, because it was so epic that it outshined the band’s entire discography.

    Ending Explained: Ares realizes Depeche Mode’s music makes a human life worth living.

    Final Thoughts: 8/10 Crowns. Tron: Ares would have been 9/10 Crowns if we got a Martin Gore song and more Gillian Anderson in the plot. During the credits, I noticed Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross were also executive producers in addition to composing the score. A sci-fi movie about questioning God’s commandments and loving Depeche Mode? Doesn’t that kind of sound like Trent Reznor secretly had a hand in writing the movie as well? Enough of Dis Drawma Kingg’s conspiracy theories, I want to take a moment to thank YOU, the reader, for tuning in to the 30th episode of drawmakingg.com. My nonsense could not exist without the continued support of offbeat comedy lovers such as yourself!

    Much love,

    -Drawma Kingg

  • THE SMASHING MACHINE 2025 Movie Review – Is it worth watching?

    The Smashing Machine is a fighting movie starring AN PEBBLE. Wait, maybe it was A ROCK errr… that doesn’t sound right either. Final answer — THE STONE (singular, unrolling)! It had to be one of those or at least some combination thereof. Smashburger was mostly about two subjects: a bowl (leaving the possibility that the movie is secretly a sequel to Jurassic World Rebirth, a story focusing on Scarlett Johansson’s bowl of cereal – see my previous JWR review) and the losing era of a famous fighter.

    Why would you make a movie about a famous person’s losing era? Early in the film, the main character has his first loss after a supposed undefeated era. He then goes through rehabilitation of his personal problems and returns to the ring. You would assume this road leads to him becoming the ultimate champion. Switcheroo! Entering another tournament results in one win, only to lose to the second opponent. At this moment I became perplexed by the point of the whole story. Was it really about an athlete that lost twice with one slightly important win in the middle of both losses? Couldn’t they have made Smashburger about his early undefeated era instead?

    I would love to know how they sold the script to a movie studio.

    Script Person: It’s about a person’s losing era!

    Studio Executive: And then he goes on to win big at the end?

    Script Person: No!

    Studio Executive: Why don’t you just switch the perspective to the best friend that actually wins the tournament and make your current main character the supportive best friend?

    Script Person: No! People will think it’s artsy!

    Studio Executive: Artsy you say? Our studio has a reputation to uphold. How much money would you like?

    Let’s imagine a movie about Dis Drawma Kingg’s losing era and see if it sounds like it would be greenlit. There was that time I bought a scratch-off ticket with a monkey drinking from a baby bottle on it. Even though it was an ultra losing ticket, scratching it was a little bit fun. One of the many times I asked someone out on a date, they politely said “no”. I ordered two tacos with extra sour cream at a classy fast food restaurant. On the hand-delivered tray, the leftmost taco had plenty of sour cream, but the rightmost taco only had the normal amount of sour cream. They must have forgot, and I didn’t have the courage to say anything after just recently being politely rejected by someone at their spouse’s funeral. Those three days had to be the worst losing era of my entire life. Do you think I should expand these anecdotes into a full script and submit it to a prestigious production company?

    Is it worth watching?: Not really.

    Final Thoughts: 4/10 Crowns. There really wasn’t anything interesting about The Smashing Machine. Strengths included the acting as well as the slice of life feel to the approach. A surprise appearance by guitarist Tomoyasu Hotei was my favorite part. Talk about a SHREDDING machine! Unfortunately, there was no Battle Without Honor or Humanity in the soundtrack. Some Chicka Chick Chick Chicka Chicka Chick Chick Chicka DUN DUN DUN would have improved the movie significantly. Who knows, maybe we’ll get a sequel called Smash Bill!

  • THE STRANGERS: CHAPTER 2 2025 Movie Review – Could this be the greatest movie of all time?

    The Strangers: Chapter 2 be a movie. Are you curious if it is one of the best movies of all the movies? Something tells me you really thought that was a possibility when you saw the preview, and you came here to learn THE CHROOTH! Confession: At no time ever have I seen The Strangers: Chapter 1. Did that deter me from going to the theater to judge this movie harshly? Absolutely not! Think about the potential life experience! Like any Marvel, DC, or Image series, Drawma Kingg Sidequest would hit differently if you started at issue #2, 5 ,11, or 4003. Just go for it! What could possibly be better than a unique life experience?

    Yeah, I didn’t much care for The Strangers: Chapter 2. Asking Dis Drawma Kingg why this artwork was worth an act of creation would yield virtually no result. Please do not think there were zero strengths of the film though. It was basically a hide and seek/survival movie. In those respects, Strange Chap 2 was a strongly executed film. There were one too many conveniently lined up events though. Cringeworthy coincidences aside, this bac 2 bak angle did build tension and convey a constant sense of survival for the audience.

    OK, sumtin’ else…

    Ever notice how life be difficult? Like, for everyone! Whether you’re wealthy or not, whether you’re smart or you’re Dis Drawma Kingg with arguably the lowest IQ in bipedal human history — life throws a lot at you. But why? Why must we all deal with stressful aspects of life? Just who is creating this stress stuff? I would like to give them a stern talking to and see if that helps humanity.

    As stress is a mystery that I doubt scientists know a single thing about, I would like the reader to know that I feel for you. That is — in how life can be one stressful thing after another just like the movie I was trying not to talk about. Freudian slip? More like I tried to go on a non sequitur only to realize “life be difficult” was pretty much the whole plot of the movie. Oh well, sometimes you try to be random only to find you are derivative. Ever notice that feeling?

    Final Thoughts: 6/10 Crowns. The Strangers: Chapter 2 gets this many points for the lead, Madelaine Petsch, and the immersive survival experience. Nothing else is likely to remain in my memory as noteworthy. Rebelliously, I have 0 regrets watching 2 without seeing 1 or 3! No lie: I once read a number 51 of a comic book series before reading number 50. I was never the same!

  • HIM 2025 Movie Review – Is it ain’t half bad?

    “Sports”! Yes, this was the first word uttered in the sports horror film, Him. Dis Drawma Kingg can’t recall ever seeing a movie of this subgenre before. For this review (and for the rest of my life), I will be referring to it only as SPORROR! Accepting some problematic flaws, Him was an interesting movie.

    Sporror can create various assumptions in the brain. Imagine going outside to play one of them sports things and there is NO BALL, not even a non-circular version. Terror, robbery, disappointment, and negligence become ALL CONSUMING thoughts. You begin to doubt yourself. Did I somehow cause this catastrophe? Oh wait, is that the ball over there in the bushes? Maybe it’s a demonic entity in disguise. No, just the ball.

    We’ve all had frightening experiences involving standard yard objects. That’s what makes sporror so effective to the human subconscious. Athletic injuries are the thematic seed that forms Him’s plot. I have never played on a sports team in my life, yet I could still relate to an extent. As a young Drawma Prinnce, I sustained a substantial skull injury while playing with a “cup and ball on a string” style device. My parents forced me to continue performing with the cup and ball in order to obtain a multimillion-dollar contract. None of the ladies at the bingo hall made such an offer, and detrimental effects to my health persisted for life. Upon ascending to the throne, I vowed to be a better monarch than my parents chose to be!

    Would you like to hear some serious thoughts on the movie? I mean “more serious” obviously. That yard ball stuff was vitally important. Him’s greatest strength was in the visuals. The creepy rooms in the training facility (where most of the events take place) were absolute top-notch examples of what can be achieved in cinema. I cannot champion that part of the film enough. To my great amusement, comedian Jim Jefferies shows up and demonstrates respectable acting abilities. On the problematic end, the antagonist’s motivations projected as complete nonsense (to me at least). They didn’t really make sense and not in an intriguing mysterious way, more so in a “this script needs to be reworked” kind of way. Lastly, the main character endures too much bizarre behavior, waiting an absurd amount of time to legitimately question his situation. Personally, I would have ran away as soon as they gave me the first random unexplained injection.

    Is it ain’t half bad? Yeah, it ain’t half bad.

    Final Thoughts: 7/10 Crowns. Visually, it deserves 10/10 Crowns. A few script updates could have turned Him into one of the year’s top movies. The penultimate scene where the two main characters fight was unsatisfying, and I probably would have hated the movie if it ended right there. Luckily, things took a turn with a crazy final scene that made for a cool ending! I would highly recommend this film to anyone that appreciates beautiful scenic atmospheres. Now please wish me luck at my next hospital visit for my childhood cup and ball sports injury. Oh the sporror, the SPORROR!