Guess who wears two crowns on his thumbs and barely understands The Conjuring franchise? If you said Dis Drawma Kingg, you’d be nearly 100% correct! I am pretty sure I watched the first Conjuring film, Annabelle (maybe), and at least one movie about a nun, whether it had anything to do with this franchise or not. When you watch more movies than God (I am told there is only one God, and my movie count is in the 2+ range), it becomes hard to remember if you have or have not seen certain movies. Also, if a movie is dull, it might leave nothing for my brain to bother remembering. The Conjuring: Last Rites is another one of these films that did not earn any long-term space in my biological hard drive.
What is the premise of the Conjuring films? All I have gathered so far is “evil spirits be doing things.” I guess I have also noticed that two random people always seem to find real instances of the supernatural, not just constant hoaxes. What are the odds of that even if demons/spirits are real? This review is coming from a place of ignorance, because I haven’t watched most of the movies in the series. I have cared so little about the Conjuring films that I didn’t even realize the two main characters were based on real people until that was made quite obvious at the end of Last Rites. Additionally, Last Rites claims to be based on a true particular story.
SPOILER PARAGRAPH: How can we tell that the story is true? There were indications throughout. For example: I found it relatable when they put a large mirror out with the trash. The garbage truck crushes it, yet they find it in the attic the next day as if the filmmakers understood my personal life experiences! There were two different creepy possessed dolls. Who only has ONE possessed doll in their home? Relatable. Christianity being the only religion you can possibly use to fight demonic spirits in America? Relatable (to others, Drawma Kingg no understand theology). However, Aquaman’s mortal enemy making pancakes? Do they got wheat crops under the ocean? How would he have any experience with pancake batter? This was the part where I realized it was mostly Hollywood nonsense masquerading as truth.
Ending Explained: The Warrens don’t really do much, but the spirits still calm down as there isn’t much time left until the credits.
Final Thoughts: 6/10 Crowns. I enjoyed the acting and the presentation of some of the scares. That was about it. To be perfectly upfront, I found myself wondering if I am the one who is wrong by having a lukewarm reception to The Conjuring: Last Rites. Maybe the emotional family bond themes DID make a good story, and I just have a cold, dead heart or sumtin’ like dat. Either way is fine really. I always imagined I would still be dramatic after my heart stops beating, so I don’t see that causing any production delays for future episodes of Drawma Kingg.
NEWS FLASH! Join us on Monday for the release of Drawma Kingg Sidequest #2! This installment of my pictureless comic book series will tell the full superhero story of my original character, William Aris!
DRAWMA KINGG Movie Reviews 
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