There’s this movie called The Fantastic Four: First Steps. You would be correct if you thought it was about 4 superheroes from watching the trailer. It was four separate people with four completely separate personalities. Let me explain.
Person 1: was a person of person descent. Really valued food, water, and oxygen. Anyways so they was walking home one day with their cousin Jimmy and Jimmy revealed to them a shocking thing! So shocking it can’t be printed! This really affected Person 1 and who they came to be as a person.
Person 2: was a smooooth dude! I don’t necessarily mean a man or a woman, just a smooooth dude! Anyways, so sometimes Person 2’s smoothness would catch up to them in VITAL ways in life. For example:
Random Person Walking By When Stopping At A Convenience Store: Hey bro nice shirt.
Person 2: Thanks bro.
RPWBWSAACS: You must be a smooooth dude!
Person 2: Yeah I get that a lot…
Or here is ANOTHER EXAMPLE:
Person 2 was just driving by on their motorcycle when two cars ahead got into a collision. A woman flew out of one of the cars and was caught by Person 2 driving by on their motorcycle just at the right time to save the woman’s life! Person 2 didn’t stop to review the scene of the accident! They just drove the woman straight to the hospital and never took their sunglasses off in the process!
Person 3: was a fine upstanding person, but pretty annoying to hang out with. I mean, for one, their music taste was questionable. Favorites being: Imagine Dragons, Coldplay, and Maroon 5. But a more direct example:
Person 3: Wanna get some pizzas?
Other three persons: We all already agreed we are getting tacos and pop-soda for dinner. We already wasted HOURS on this conversation earlier!
Person 3: Oh right, right. I forgot.
[Time passes, three persons have already given their orders to the nice lady at the taco and pop-soda stand.]
Person 3: Wanna get gyros?
Other three persons: OH COME ON!
Upon finishing dinner, Person 3 cursed the name of pizzas, gyros, and ALL other food options after experiencing the decadence of tacos and pop-soda!
Person 4: had even more person qualities than the other three people, and thus was the most likable of the group. Everyone liked this person and here is how you knew for sure:
Person 3: Wanna get some pizzas?
Other three persons: God no! Not this again!
Person 4: Would anyone like to rake the leaves, give the dogs a bath, and then do a funny dance?
All persons: Yes!
Ending Explained: The Fantastic Four Foil Galactus.
Final Thoughts: 7/10 Crowns. I walked out of the theater thinking 6.5 but it grew on me some upon reflection. I wasn’t sure if I was going to like the actors for Sue and Johnny, who have always been my two favorite members of the Fantastic Four. In the end I thought Invisible Woman was awesome, but Human Torch didn’t shine in this movie. [SPOILER] It also left you unsatisfied by choosing not to address exactly how the Fantastic Four join the other characters in the main Marvel Cinematic Universe. The Fantastic Four: First Steps was an enjoyable movie. It just didn’t break any new ground like Fantastic Four #1 in 1961. I have no idea who they are, but Fantastic Four #1 musta been created by some smooooth dudes! I mean what other logical explantation IS THERE?!
*Disclaimer: Person 1, Person 2, Person 3, and Person 4 do not actually appear to be characters present in any way in the film The Fantastic Four: First Steps.
DRAWMA KINGG Movie Reviews 
Leave a comment