SINNERS 2025 Movie Review – Drop that 1/8th fraction of a guitar!

Hey, what have you got there? A small piece of wood? I’mma call that a guitar. Now drop it before I get really mad! You wouldn’t like me if I get beyond my tolerance of daily annoying human behaviors. If you haven’t seen the movie yet, come back later and reread this first part.

Sinners is much too excellent of a film for my blog of intentionally stupid sentences written by a man with arguably the lowest IQ in bipedal human history. There wasn’t much to complain about or cheesy things to riff on in the movie. My debut movie review was supposed to be Fast n da Furious 47, but Vihn Deezel keeps lying to me about the release date! First he said “never”, then he said, “never say never” (which was the most insightful grouping of words I ever heard), then he said “OK” because the movie studio offered him the number he was secretly waiting for.

Back to vampire guitar stuff. Vampires take quite a long time to show up in the story and when they arrive, I don’t want ‘em anymore! The first half of the movie is all about music, people, prejudice, crime, and family. It has you locked in with great acting of characters with interesting lives and motivations. Not like your neighbors Ralph and Karen whose hobbies include scrolling, cheese, and discouraging their kids from reading boocs (or however, you speil it). Anyway, the exceptional characterization made me less and less concerned about the vampires being any part of the action whatsoever. Joking aside, I would’ve liked the movie even better sans vamps. Something tells me that would’ve been much harder to sell tickets to though.

Note: I’m pretty sure the two leading characters were the same two actors from David Cronenberg’s Dead Ringers. I’ll make sure to double check that fact after I have submitted this review.

Spoiler paragraph: The most thrilling part of sinners (for me at least) was when they are playing music at the Juke Joint Jezebel. I’m talking that hard industrial Mortal Kombat stuff! That was almost not a joke lol! Spirits of musicians from past present and future start joining the performance. What results is probably one of the coolest scenes I’ve ever seen in a movie, and I’ve seen Kangaroo Jack.

In conclusion: I would rate Sinners somewhere in the vicinity of 9/10. I only decided not to scrap writing this review as a challenge to myself. How can you write a dramatic over the top article about a rare type of movie that has too few details to criticize. I guess the way to do it is to just keep bringing up Kangaroo Jack for no good reason. Nailed it!