DRAWMA KINGG Movie Reviews

Tag: funny-movie-reviews

  • GOOD BOY 2025 Movie Review – Does The Dog Survive?

    After the first 10 seconds of Good Boy, it dawned on me that the movie didn’t have to be good. The dog is cute. Who cares about anything else? He is such a good boii you just love him right away and want to get your own dog (or several). Wanna just talk about dogs instead of movies? We certainly could do that. I want to get me one o’ them good boiis so I can feed him some french fries. Are there dog french fry diseases I have to worry about as a new dog peer (rather than owner, my best friend isn’t a possession!)? I’m sure I won’t be able to stop more stoopid stuff from being written in the course of creating this episode, but we must save room to talk about Good Boy being an awesome film!

    Indy, the lead actor, is so good at acting that it makes you wonder why we don’t only hire dog actors exclusively. Why pay millions of dollars to people with mediocre abilities when dogs that are way better at everything would do it for treats? They don’t even want 1 million paper dollars! New Drawma Kingg campaign: Dogs for ALL acting roles! Sorry hoomans, you’re just not cute fuzzballs with hearts of gold. Would anyone contest my campaign? I’m making solid points.

    Some important thoughts (arrogantly assuming I’ve had at least 2 ever) on Good Boy: There is a chillingly effective creep factor from the apparitions/ghosts/creatures or whatever they are. You have to interpret most of the movie as there is very little speech/explanation. Do you refuse to watch horror films that contain zero dream sequences? Rest easy, Tiger! Apparently Hollywood won’t even endorse canine scary movies without dream sequences. So yes, an otherwise ART FILM included a DOG DREAM SEQUENCE! Indy also appears to hallucinate like people often do in horror movies. Upon witnessing dog nightmares and hallucinations, all I could think about the director was “YOU DIRTY DOG!” I hope that joke isn’t dogcist, because I am not trying to offend dogs (likely 37% of my readership based on unreceived information).

    Does the dog survive?: Yaaa Boiii he do! I hope he canonically got treats after the credits.

    Final Thoughts: 8/10 Crowns critically, 10/10 Crowns cute dogically (c’mon we all want that to be a word). Good Boy is a masterclass in independent filmmaking and dog acting. One particular moment strongly stood out as a hair-standing-up monster scare. I’m pretty sure Indy’s human turns into muddy Trent Reznor from Woodstock ’94 at the very end. HA! You had no idea this review was a sequel to the last NIN episode! HINT: All Drawma Kingg episodes are connected in my cinematic universe that currently only consists of words!

  • THE TOXIC AVENGER 2023 (2025 Wide Release) Movie Review – Ending Explained

    I know when I mention The Toxic Avenger your brain might think I’m talking about Tony Stark (movie version, of course). The Toxic Avenger (2023) is a totally different type of toxic. We’re talking MOP TOXIC. Which of these is worse? Is it social toxicity or physical environment toxicity? If you absolutely had to choose one, what would it be?

    I personally don’t want to be surrounded by pollution. In fact, one of my issues with the movie is that it didn’t hit hard enough with a positive message about taking care of the environment. It probably had some statements to that effect, but it definitely didn’t have me leaving with any kind of inspiration on the subject. Any ways, even though I don’t want physical toxicity of any kind, I also don’t want to be in any workplace full of disrespectful Stark-like creatures.

    As I write this, I am having trouble deciding which is worse of our two toxic options. I’ll talk a bit about the actual movie while I ponder that. The Toxic Avenger was definitely full of silly and gross things that Troma movies are known for. To be honest, I thought there would be an even larger amount of gross moments than there were, so I wasn’t overwhelmed by it (I have definitely felt nauseous watching a few other Troma properties in the past). With that being said, I do not recommend this movie to anyone with a low tolerance for grossness. A lot of jokes did not land for me, but the humor style was reasonably amusing. It had subtle humor that was interesting despite only having one or two parts that really had me laughing.

    Ending Explained: Toxie beats a Baconator sandwich. [that should say Kevin Bacon, fix later] The chemicals that transformed The Toxic Avenger have healed him from his fatal preexisting disease. This convenient plot point created mixed messages about the dangers of pollution. 

    Final Thoughts: 5/10 Crowns. The Toxic Avenger‘s greatest strength was making you feel for Toxie’s inadequate access to healthcare. That was maybe the only part of the movie that felt like a painful reality. I also felt really sad for Elijah Wood’s character at the end. He makes the right moral choice in the climax of the story but ends up with life-changing injuries. Karma was not on his side. Now we must answer the initial question: Would you rather be in a physically toxic environment or a socially toxic environment? Go ahead and dump a barrel of green goo on my head, because there’s no way I could survive a Tony Stark wannabe (Spice Girls version) calling me names like BREAD-HATING GOOSE!

    Bonus Paragraph: Drawma King Sidequest #2 is coming soon! The second issue of my pictureless comic book series will continue the story of William Aris becoming a costumed superhero. You can read the original non sequitur short story within my review of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1978). Stay tuned for this special upcoming episode of Drawma Kingg where William’s origin and superhero name will be revealed!

  • WEAPONS 2025 Movie Review – Ending Explained

    Weapons starts out claiming “This is a true story.” Yeah but how troo? I mean, there are different levels of chrooth! Dis Drawma Kingg was very hyped to see this movie. I have to admit, I was a bit disappointed. It’s not bad by any means, it just left me wanting in a number of areas. I would say this is more of a mixed opinion review because weapons definitely had its merits.

    Generally the acting was very good in the film. Also, I shouldn’t prolong mentioning that this review is ULTRA SPOILER – so you should only read on if you’ve already seen the movie or do not want to. OK, so I did really like the villain in Weapons. She was this odd sorta witchcraft practicing kinda aunt I guess? They don’t really fully explain her backstory. I would like to note that I really thought she was going to transform into a monster ant that was collecting a hive of people to do her bidding. There is a scene where some characters are watching ants on the television, so I was like is she gonna be a big creepy bug monster ANT AUNT? How wrong I was! As time continues to pass, I’m still pretty sad there was no ant aunt.

    Sos first the movie starts out with the teacher as the main character. Then maybe 30 minutes or sos into the movie it switches to another character’s perspective. I think “Oh cool! A movie with two different main characters!” Again, how wrong I was! One time a dog ate some crispy potato chips, but that has nothing to do with this review. There were like six different main characters. You keep getting the events from different perspectives. This was fun at two and three, but then I just started to realize they weren’t going to move the story much further in time because they were going to run out of minutes. How right I was this time! The movie has a climax with barely any resolution after. Then it just ends abruptly.

    Ending Explained: The villain is defeated and the kids are saved. It was the aunt.

    Final Thoughts: 6 or 7 out of 10 crowns. I think the movie started out strong but got almost lighthearted and silly in the middle. Plus there was no ant aunt monster at the end. It definitely loses points for that and more points for having a double dream sequence.

    “Oh noooo wayyyy that right there waz just a dream? At least I’m fully awake now! Ahhhhhh! [sumtin’ scary wakes them up again] Oh noooo wayyyy that one waz just a dream too!!”

  • HAPPY GILMORE 2 2025 Movie Review – Is It Worth Watching?

    Happy Gilmore 2 was a somewhat enjoyable movie. Was it worth the two hours of my life I gave to it? Probably not. I think the nostalgia factor of Happy Gilmore from 1996 is the only reason anyone would enjoy this movie. I would be willing to GUESS that anyone that had not seen the original would think this new version was a terrible movie! I also think reading an entire review of Happy Gilmore 2 would be a potential waste of everyone’s time, so I am gonna talk about literally ANYTHING ELSE interspersed with my discussion of the film. I want you, THE READER, to consider this question:

    Which of these two is a better option? 

    1: Talking about Happy Gilmore 2 OR

    2: Talking about anything other than Happy Gilmore 2.

    I was walking down the street thinking about a grilled cheese sandwich. Suddenly, I awoke from a dream, and I am now in a dangerous place. I can smell and feel fire near me. I begin to become confused, no longer knowing if this is a dream and the walking while thinking about grilled cheese sandwiches was the reality. Or was it vice versa? The heat from the flames feels very real, but my mind is hazy. I have to get out of here. I open my eyes fully and take a look around when I see…

    I’ll tell you what I liked about Happy Gilmore 2. All of the actors were awesome choices for Happy’s children. The boys all growing up to be regular Joes with a temper and a crude sense of humor was pretty hilarious to watch. The daughter got more individual spotlight as an actor and did a great job! I really liked Margaret Qualley in the movie, and I was sad her character didn’t end up getting much screen time. I thought they were setting up her and her friends to be more important characters to the plot, but they kind of disappeared after the early part of the film.

    … guards on either side. It looks like there are two exits from this horrible place. Two guards at each exit. They don’t look like men. God, what are they? Aliens, demons, or something I’ve never even conceptualized? I have no idea! They can tell I’m looking at them. One is coming over. I think it’s holding a weapon, but it looks disgusting! It could be anything! I wake up. I’m still walking down the street. A thought occurs to me. I’d like to add some bacon to a grilled cheese sandwich. I wonder if I can find a place that will do that for me.

    Ending Explained: Happy sinks the tricky shot at the end and forgets to charge his electric car.

    Final Thoughts: 4/10 Crowns. Happy Gilmore 2 was mostly a lot of over-the-top goofiness and, unfortunately, not in a good way. The jokes also tend to be really bad attempts at trying to make you laugh. As a fan of the original movie, I will say that I “kind of” enjoyed watching Happy Gilmore 2. I’d only recommend it to someone that puts the original Happy Gilmore in their top 10 favorite movies of all time. Under those circumstances, you will probably enjoy some extra Happy Gilmore content. Now dis Drawma Kingg has to go, because I need a sandwich! The problem is – I need to devote my full brain power to determining WHAT TYPE of sandwich I am in the mood for!