Tag: comedy

  • PREDATOR: BADLANDS 2025 Movie Review – Ending Explained

    Forget all about aliens n’ androids. Predator: Badlands doesn’t really have anything to do with that. Science fiction other world is just a disguise for a movie about fightin’ with your family over TRIVIAL things.

    One time, two boys I don’t know were trying to get some cookies out of a jar. The older one boosts the younger one onto the countertop. Youngbro opens the lid and eats one cookie immediately. Oldbro: “Hey, I want some!” All of THE sudden light fills the room as they are discovered by their switch-flippin’ parents. Just then, a startled Youngbro knocks the jar to the ground, smashing it into fragmented pieces. Now, the angry parents have to clean this up and throw away all the cookies due to contamination! Oldbro was furious with Youngbro! “You got one cookie, and I got none!” he said. Their adult relationship is tumultuous to this day, primarily because of that incident. Obviously, the point I’m trying to make is that this is the kind of family in-fighting the movie is about on a deeply philosophical level.

    Back to events in the actual film for a second. There were two android sisters in the midst of a family disagreement. Having had difficulty hearing in the IMIN theater, I can’t guarantee I heard all of the following dialogue correctly.

    Tessa: You’re planning to run off with my boyfriend!

    Thia: You don’t even have a boyfriend!

    Tessa: That’s beside the point!

    The director portrayed their fight in a very serious and intense manner. Tessa must have been REALLY mad. I just couldn’t understand why the imagined future boyfriend would lead to such a threatening altercation. 

    Ending Explained: Mom’s mad.

    Final Thoughts: 7.5/10 Crowns. In a way, that rating is kinda lower than it maybe should be, because PB without J was a top-notch theater experience for fans of action/sci-fi. The two main characters were totally awesome, the special effects were cool, and the directing was highly skilled. I guess my only real criticism is that the writing had certain things I loved but also had other things that I thought were disappointing. No hate though, that is just my critical opinion as to why I did not go higher than 7.5 Crowns. Overall, I loved the experience and would recommend the movie to anyone that likes aliens n’ androids.

  • DEPECHE MODE: M 2025 Movie Review – Is It Worth Watching?

    What does the M stand for? Depeche Mode: M is a film about the electronic music group, Depeche Mode, and philosophical questions about something or other. I know not what these questions are. Three guesses come to mind on what the second M in the movie title stands for.

    First guess, “Memento”, and the full title of the movie is Depeche Mode: Memento. As a long time Depeche Mode fan, I found the complete selection of songs to be an interesting statement in itself. A mix of the new Memento Mori album tracks and the classic hits.

    Next guess, “Mori”. Full title: Depeche Mode: Mori. It’s not called Depeche Mode MM so it’s probably one of the two. I ain’t no Bandolier Smith (see Drawma Kingg Sidequest #1 or the brief non sequitur story in my TOGETHER 2025 movie review for Ban’s very first appearance), but I can deduce a thing or two once in a while. Oh, the DAVE DANCE! That’s what I wanted to talk about in this paragraph. During the song Sister of Night, Dave Gahan does a really cool and amusing dance when he has a break from singing. I’m just callin’ it the DAVE DANCE. He has lots o’ those from over the years though, so calling just one move the DAVE DANCE is a little reductive of his whole decades-long touring career. Point being – I love all of Dave’s dances from Depeche Mode tours. Still callin’ this one, the DAVE DANCE.

    Is It Worth Watching?: Definitely for the DAVE DANCE alone!

    Final Thoughts: 7.5/10 Crowns. Condemnation with just guitar and vocals was an unforeseen gem of the concert. Normally a piano heavy track, Condemnation is one of my all-time favorite Depeche Mode songs! Oddly, most of the moviegoers in the theater stayed until the credits had completely stopped rolling. Dis Drawma Kingg thinks they were waiting for a bonus scene in the DMCU. That is, the Depeche Mode Cinematic Universe. Oh yeah, I said I had three guesses about what the M stands for. Third guess: “Mode”. The full title of the film being: Depeche Mode: Mode! Clearly, this is the best guess I have ever had about anything so far!

  • GOOD BOY 2025 Movie Review – Does The Dog Survive?

    After the first 10 seconds of Good Boy, it dawned on me that the movie didn’t have to be good. The dog is cute. Who cares about anything else? He is such a good boii you just love him right away and want to get your own dog (or several). Wanna just talk about dogs instead of movies? We certainly could do that. I want to get me one o’ them good boiis so I can feed him some french fries. Are there dog french fry diseases I have to worry about as a new dog peer (rather than owner, my best friend isn’t a possession!)? I’m sure I won’t be able to stop more stoopid stuff from being written in the course of creating this episode, but we must save room to talk about Good Boy being an awesome film!

    Indy, the lead actor, is so good at acting that it makes you wonder why we don’t only hire dog actors exclusively. Why pay millions of dollars to people with mediocre abilities when dogs that are way better at everything would do it for treats? They don’t even want 1 million paper dollars! New Drawma Kingg campaign: Dogs for ALL acting roles! Sorry hoomans, you’re just not cute fuzzballs with hearts of gold. Would anyone contest my campaign? I’m making solid points.

    Some important thoughts (arrogantly assuming I’ve had at least 2 ever) on Good Boy: There is a chillingly effective creep factor from the apparitions/ghosts/creatures or whatever they are. You have to interpret most of the movie as there is very little speech/explanation. Do you refuse to watch horror films that contain zero dream sequences? Rest easy, Tiger! Apparently Hollywood won’t even endorse canine scary movies without dream sequences. So yes, an otherwise ART FILM included a DOG DREAM SEQUENCE! Indy also appears to hallucinate like people often do in horror movies. Upon witnessing dog nightmares and hallucinations, all I could think about the director was “YOU DIRTY DOG!” I hope that joke isn’t dogcist, because I am not trying to offend dogs (likely 37% of my readership based on unreceived information).

    Does the dog survive?: Yaaa Boiii he do! I hope he canonically got treats after the credits.

    Final Thoughts: 8/10 Crowns critically, 10/10 Crowns cute dogically (c’mon we all want that to be a word). Good Boy is a masterclass in independent filmmaking and dog acting. One particular moment strongly stood out as a hair-standing-up monster scare. I’m pretty sure Indy’s human turns into muddy Trent Reznor from Woodstock ’94 at the very end. HA! You had no idea this review was a sequel to the last NIN episode! HINT: All Drawma Kingg episodes are connected in my cinematic universe that currently only consists of words!

  • THE SMASHING MACHINE 2025 Movie Review – Is it worth watching?

    The Smashing Machine is a fighting movie starring AN PEBBLE. Wait, maybe it was A ROCK errr… that doesn’t sound right either. Final answer — THE STONE (singular, unrolling)! It had to be one of those or at least some combination thereof. Smashburger was mostly about two subjects: a bowl (leaving the possibility that the movie is secretly a sequel to Jurassic World Rebirth, a story focusing on Scarlett Johansson’s bowl of cereal – see my previous JWR review) and the losing era of a famous fighter.

    Why would you make a movie about a famous person’s losing era? Early in the film, the main character has his first loss after a supposed undefeated era. He then goes through rehabilitation of his personal problems and returns to the ring. You would assume this road leads to him becoming the ultimate champion. Switcheroo! Entering another tournament results in one win, only to lose to the second opponent. At this moment I became perplexed by the point of the whole story. Was it really about an athlete that lost twice with one slightly important win in the middle of both losses? Couldn’t they have made Smashburger about his early undefeated era instead?

    I would love to know how they sold the script to a movie studio.

    Script Person: It’s about a person’s losing era!

    Studio Executive: And then he goes on to win big at the end?

    Script Person: No!

    Studio Executive: Why don’t you just switch the perspective to the best friend that actually wins the tournament and make your current main character the supportive best friend?

    Script Person: No! People will think it’s artsy!

    Studio Executive: Artsy you say? Our studio has a reputation to uphold. How much money would you like?

    Let’s imagine a movie about Dis Drawma Kingg’s losing era and see if it sounds like it would be greenlit. There was that time I bought a scratch-off ticket with a monkey drinking from a baby bottle on it. Even though it was an ultra losing ticket, scratching it was a little bit fun. One of the many times I asked someone out on a date, they politely said “no”. I ordered two tacos with extra sour cream at a classy fast food restaurant. On the hand-delivered tray, the leftmost taco had plenty of sour cream, but the rightmost taco only had the normal amount of sour cream. They must have forgot, and I didn’t have the courage to say anything after just recently being politely rejected by someone at their spouse’s funeral. Those three days had to be the worst losing era of my entire life. Do you think I should expand these anecdotes into a full script and submit it to a prestigious production company?

    Is it worth watching?: Not really.

    Final Thoughts: 4/10 Crowns. There really wasn’t anything interesting about The Smashing Machine. Strengths included the acting as well as the slice of life feel to the approach. A surprise appearance by guitarist Tomoyasu Hotei was my favorite part. Talk about a SHREDDING machine! Unfortunately, there was no Battle Without Honor or Humanity in the soundtrack. Some Chicka Chick Chick Chicka Chicka Chick Chick Chicka DUN DUN DUN would have improved the movie significantly. Who knows, maybe we’ll get a sequel called Smash Bill!