DRAWMA KINGG Movie Reviews

Author: drawmakingg

  • THE SMASHING MACHINE 2025 Movie Review – Is it worth watching?

    The Smashing Machine is a fighting movie starring AN PEBBLE. Wait, maybe it was A ROCK errr… that doesn’t sound right either. Final answer — THE STONE (singular, unrolling)! It had to be one of those or at least some combination thereof. Smashburger was mostly about two subjects: a bowl (leaving the possibility that the movie is secretly a sequel to Jurassic World Rebirth, a story focusing on Scarlett Johansson’s bowl of cereal – see my previous JWR review) and the losing era of a famous fighter.

    Why would you make a movie about a famous person’s losing era? Early in the film, the main character has his first loss after a supposed undefeated era. He then goes through rehabilitation of his personal problems and returns to the ring. You would assume this road leads to him becoming the ultimate champion. Switcheroo! Entering another tournament results in one win, only to lose to the second opponent. At this moment I became perplexed by the point of the whole story. Was it really about an athlete that lost twice with one slightly important win in the middle of both losses? Couldn’t they have made Smashburger about his early undefeated era instead?

    I would love to know how they sold the script to a movie studio.

    Script Person: It’s about a person’s losing era!

    Studio Executive: And then he goes on to win big at the end?

    Script Person: No!

    Studio Executive: Why don’t you just switch the perspective to the best friend that actually wins the tournament and make your current main character the supportive best friend?

    Script Person: No! People will think it’s artsy!

    Studio Executive: Artsy you say? Our studio has a reputation to uphold. How much money would you like?

    Let’s imagine a movie about Dis Drawma Kingg’s losing era and see if it sounds like it would be greenlit. There was that time I bought a scratch-off ticket with a monkey drinking from a baby bottle on it. Even though it was an ultra losing ticket, scratching it was a little bit fun. One of the many times I asked someone out on a date, they politely said “no”. I ordered two tacos with extra sour cream at a classy fast food restaurant. On the hand-delivered tray, the leftmost taco had plenty of sour cream, but the rightmost taco only had the normal amount of sour cream. They must have forgot, and I didn’t have the courage to say anything after just recently being politely rejected by someone at their spouse’s funeral. Those three days had to be the worst losing era of my entire life. Do you think I should expand these anecdotes into a full script and submit it to a prestigious production company?

    Is it worth watching?: Not really.

    Final Thoughts: 4/10 Crowns. There really wasn’t anything interesting about The Smashing Machine. Strengths included the acting as well as the slice of life feel to the approach. A surprise appearance by guitarist Tomoyasu Hotei was my favorite part. Talk about a SHREDDING machine! Unfortunately, there was no Battle Without Honor or Humanity in the soundtrack. Some Chicka Chick Chick Chicka Chicka Chick Chick Chicka DUN DUN DUN would have improved the movie significantly. Who knows, maybe we’ll get a sequel called Smash Bill!

  • THE STRANGERS: CHAPTER 2 2025 Movie Review – Could this be the greatest movie of all time?

    The Strangers: Chapter 2 be a movie. Are you curious if it is one of the best movies of all the movies? Something tells me you really thought that was a possibility when you saw the preview, and you came here to learn THE CHROOTH! Confession: At no time ever have I seen The Strangers: Chapter 1. Did that deter me from going to the theater to judge this movie harshly? Absolutely not! Think about the potential life experience! Like any Marvel, DC, or Image series, Drawma Kingg Sidequest would hit differently if you started at issue #2, 5 ,11, or 4003. Just go for it! What could possibly be better than a unique life experience?

    Yeah, I didn’t much care for The Strangers: Chapter 2. Asking Dis Drawma Kingg why this artwork was worth an act of creation would yield virtually no result. Please do not think there were zero strengths of the film though. It was basically a hide and seek/survival movie. In those respects, Strange Chap 2 was a strongly executed film. There were one too many conveniently lined up events though. Cringeworthy coincidences aside, this bac 2 bak angle did build tension and convey a constant sense of survival for the audience.

    OK, sumtin’ else…

    Ever notice how life be difficult? Like, for everyone! Whether you’re wealthy or not, whether you’re smart or you’re Dis Drawma Kingg with arguably the lowest IQ in bipedal human history — life throws a lot at you. But why? Why must we all deal with stressful aspects of life? Just who is creating this stress stuff? I would like to give them a stern talking to and see if that helps humanity.

    As stress is a mystery that I doubt scientists know a single thing about, I would like the reader to know that I feel for you. That is — in how life can be one stressful thing after another just like the movie I was trying not to talk about. Freudian slip? More like I tried to go on a non sequitur only to realize “life be difficult” was pretty much the whole plot of the movie. Oh well, sometimes you try to be random only to find you are derivative. Ever notice that feeling?

    Final Thoughts: 6/10 Crowns. The Strangers: Chapter 2 gets this many points for the lead, Madelaine Petsch, and the immersive survival experience. Nothing else is likely to remain in my memory as noteworthy. Rebelliously, I have 0 regrets watching 2 without seeing 1 or 3! No lie: I once read a number 51 of a comic book series before reading number 50. I was never the same!

  • HIM 2025 Movie Review – Is it ain’t half bad?

    “Sports”! Yes, this was the first word uttered in the sports horror film, Him. Dis Drawma Kingg can’t recall ever seeing a movie of this subgenre before. For this review (and for the rest of my life), I will be referring to it only as SPORROR! Accepting some problematic flaws, Him was an interesting movie.

    Sporror can create various assumptions in the brain. Imagine going outside to play one of them sports things and there is NO BALL, not even a non-circular version. Terror, robbery, disappointment, and negligence become ALL CONSUMING thoughts. You begin to doubt yourself. Did I somehow cause this catastrophe? Oh wait, is that the ball over there in the bushes? Maybe it’s a demonic entity in disguise. No, just the ball.

    We’ve all had frightening experiences involving standard yard objects. That’s what makes sporror so effective to the human subconscious. Athletic injuries are the thematic seed that forms Him’s plot. I have never played on a sports team in my life, yet I could still relate to an extent. As a young Drawma Prinnce, I sustained a substantial skull injury while playing with a “cup and ball on a string” style device. My parents forced me to continue performing with the cup and ball in order to obtain a multimillion-dollar contract. None of the ladies at the bingo hall made such an offer, and detrimental effects to my health persisted for life. Upon ascending to the throne, I vowed to be a better monarch than my parents chose to be!

    Would you like to hear some serious thoughts on the movie? I mean “more serious” obviously. That yard ball stuff was vitally important. Him’s greatest strength was in the visuals. The creepy rooms in the training facility (where most of the events take place) were absolute top-notch examples of what can be achieved in cinema. I cannot champion that part of the film enough. To my great amusement, comedian Jim Jefferies shows up and demonstrates respectable acting abilities. On the problematic end, the antagonist’s motivations projected as complete nonsense (to me at least). They didn’t really make sense and not in an intriguing mysterious way, more so in a “this script needs to be reworked” kind of way. Lastly, the main character endures too much bizarre behavior, waiting an absurd amount of time to legitimately question his situation. Personally, I would have ran away as soon as they gave me the first random unexplained injection.

    Is it ain’t half bad? Yeah, it ain’t half bad.

    Final Thoughts: 7/10 Crowns. Visually, it deserves 10/10 Crowns. A few script updates could have turned Him into one of the year’s top movies. The penultimate scene where the two main characters fight was unsatisfying, and I probably would have hated the movie if it ended right there. Luckily, things took a turn with a crazy final scene that made for a cool ending! I would highly recommend this film to anyone that appreciates beautiful scenic atmospheres. Now please wish me luck at my next hospital visit for my childhood cup and ball sports injury. Oh the sporror, the SPORROR!

  • CITIZEN KANE 1941 Movie Review – Ending Explained

    I did it. I finally watched Citizen Kane. Believe it or not, this was truly the CITIZEN KANE of movies! Masterpieces don’t come around every five seconds. If everything was a masterpiece, we could just call everything “pieces”. Reese’s Pieces been doing that for years despite being a delectable masterpiece in the candy realm. Comparing Citizen Kane to modern movie sensibilities is a bit jarring, but there is enough artistic substance in there to justify it as a legendary classic.

    GRANDIOSE is the word I would use to describe the sets/buildings in the picture. In terms of atmosphere, Citizen Kane deserves well above a perfect score. 10 out of 10 in this area would degrade it by comparing it to other movies that receive such praise. A colorized version of this film would be horrible! The black and white footage is perfect for the haunting tone of each location. Maybe I’ll just get an old black and white television, because it feels like the film industry had it right the first time. For that matter, perhaps I should throw away my video game console and smartphone and then go play in the yard with some sticks. Do these modern technologies make me happy? No! They seem to accomplish absolutely nothing in terms of improving mental health. Sticks, grass, and black and white movies, please rescue us from the technological torments of the modern age!

    “Hey Mista! I ain’t got no PS Six in the apartment, but want some hot watta?” “Hot water?! Wow, that’s the one thing I don’t have in life, other than empathy of course.” When watching old movies, it can be hard to tell if something was normal for the time or just an odd thing the writer thought of. Were they all just enticing people with hot water left and right in the 40’s? I refuse to consult a historian on account of finding the scene funnier without additional context.

    The psychology of Charles Kane is in some ways the main character of the story. Please keep in mind that Dis Drawma Kingg does not like to read other reviews/analyses of movies discussed on drawmakingg.com. I do not wish to be influenced by outside interpretations, so I have no idea what people usually say when discussing Citizen Kane (aside from “Rosebud”). What I found fascinating about the psychological aspect – was that it held up strongly to how we tend to analyze such a person today. Kane exhibits sociopathic tendencies stemming from when his parents gave him away callously. He couldn’t ever love or connect to other human beings after experiencing separation trauma at a young age. Rosebud burned into his mind as his brain coped with drastic change. It also was likely one of the few possessions he got to take to his new home, thus being a physical memento reminding him of his former life.

    Ending Explained: Rosebud was the sled character. Since the movie came out a little under 100 years ago, I DO still feel guilty for spoiling the ending.

    Final Thoughts: Citizen Kane is hard to apply a rating on the first watch. Entertainment value wise I would say around 7/10 Crowns. The legendary execution of various details leads me to believe I would say 10/10 Crowns on subsequent viewings. To our collective misfortune, the ending reveal of Rosebud is nearly impossible to avoid in our society. It would have been 1000 times more intense of an ending if you did not see that detail coming already. However, I did not already know that Rosebud is only revealed to the viewer at the end. The characters never find this out! That detail did resonate with me emotionally. To think, all human lives end with secrets that remain unrevealed. When we die, we take information with us forever! Let me try it out. On September 17, 2009 I either ate a slice of pepperoni pizza, or I ate a slice of plain cheese pizza. Drawma Kingg doth now solemnly swear that I’m taking the truth about that (master) piece of pizza to my grave!

    BONUS NOTE: I always liked Tenacious D’s music, but I disagree when Jack Black claimed their movie was better than Citizen Kane. AS GOOD? Maybe, but definitely not BETTER. C’mon man you coulda just said it was AS GOOD as Citizen Kane and avoided all of the CONTROVERSY when that song came out!