Today’s episode is THE DRAWMA KINGG THEME SONG!
This is now the official song of drawmakingg.com
Enjoy!
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THE CRAFT 1996 Movie Review – Ending Explained
“You can’t even PAY A BILL? What are you good for?” I don’t normally open with a quote, because Dis Drawma Kingg is trying to make an original ART PIECE with every episode. Can’t you surely tell no such thing? So this quote must be pretty important to the whole thing, right? Asking, not telling. Does a human life get respect proportional to the number of bills they pay? Let’s you, the reader, and I, the wroter, take a deep dive into the philosophy of The Craft!
Fairuza Balk’s work mother posits what I interpret as this: There is no obvious intrinsic value to a human that pays exactly 0 bills. I think that sounds a bit extreme. Aren’t we all worth more than that? How many bills makes us good? At that rate I would guess one or two bills would not satisfy everybody. Maybe it’s like seven bills paid makes people like you for your personality. I hope it’s not 9, 12, or even 14 bills. That’s a lot and seems a most unfair expectation. You may please contest my interpretation of the original argument Nancy’s mother makes in the comment section. Even “I think therefore I am” must be counter argued.
Could it not be there is something else to measure the worth of any conscious being? My first instinct is how many nachos you’ve eaten (total). Or maybe how many people you’ve shown kindness to. Eh… I might need to spend some time contemplating how likely that one really is. What number of OTHER things could it be? It has to be a number of something. If not a number, how else could it be CONCEIVABLY measured?
Ending Explained: In the final scene – the witch that was overtly portrayed as crazy for the whole movie is now being portrayed as overtly MORE crazy!
Final Thoughts: 8/10 Crowns! A much more interesting film than I anticipated. The Craft was not without flaws, yet it was a unique ever changing story. I can’t count the number of times it surprised me. Wow, I hope it’s not number of times you surprise someone that makes you a good person. That would make for some really annoying day-to-day life experiences. Perhaps Fairuza’s work mother was right all along. Maybe we are liked based on how much we provide to the liking or disliking entity. Can we then derive that any positive feelings towards a person means that they provide something to your life? I imagine you are all saying: “No, Drawma, Kingg, I disagree with every assumption you have made on one of the best lines ever in a film! GO BACK TO WRITING YOUR PICTURELESS COMIC BOOK SERIES!”
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GOOD BOY 2025 Movie Review – Does The Dog Survive?
After the first 10 seconds of Good Boy, it dawned on me that the movie didn’t have to be good. The dog is cute. Who cares about anything else? He is such a good boii you just love him right away and want to get your own dog (or several). Wanna just talk about dogs instead of movies? We certainly could do that. I want to get me one o’ them good boiis so I can feed him some french fries. Are there dog french fry diseases I have to worry about as a new dog peer (rather than owner, my best friend isn’t a possession!)? I’m sure I won’t be able to stop more stoopid stuff from being written in the course of creating this episode, but we must save room to talk about Good Boy being an awesome film!
Indy, the lead actor, is so good at acting that it makes you wonder why we don’t only hire dog actors exclusively. Why pay millions of dollars to people with mediocre abilities when dogs that are way better at everything would do it for treats? They don’t even want 1 million paper dollars! New Drawma Kingg campaign: Dogs for ALL acting roles! Sorry hoomans, you’re just not cute fuzzballs with hearts of gold. Would anyone contest my campaign? I’m making solid points.
Some important thoughts (arrogantly assuming I’ve had at least 2 ever) on Good Boy: There is a chillingly effective creep factor from the apparitions/ghosts/creatures or whatever they are. You have to interpret most of the movie as there is very little speech/explanation. Do you refuse to watch horror films that contain zero dream sequences? Rest easy, Tiger! Apparently Hollywood won’t even endorse canine scary movies without dream sequences. So yes, an otherwise ART FILM included a DOG DREAM SEQUENCE! Indy also appears to hallucinate like people often do in horror movies. Upon witnessing dog nightmares and hallucinations, all I could think about the director was “YOU DIRTY DOG!” I hope that joke isn’t dogcist, because I am not trying to offend dogs (likely 37% of my readership based on unreceived information).
Does the dog survive?: Yaaa Boiii he do! I hope he canonically got treats after the credits.
Final Thoughts: 8/10 Crowns critically, 10/10 Crowns cute dogically (c’mon we all want that to be a word). Good Boy is a masterclass in independent filmmaking and dog acting. One particular moment strongly stood out as a hair-standing-up monster scare. I’m pretty sure Indy’s human turns into muddy Trent Reznor from Woodstock ’94 at the very end. HA! You had no idea this review was a sequel to the last NIN episode! HINT: All Drawma Kingg episodes are connected in my cinematic universe that currently only consists of words!
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TRON: ARES 2025 Movie Review – Ending Explained
In this age of grand cinematic competition, what really sells tickets is the presence or absence of Gillian Anderson. At least, for Dis Drawma Kingg anyway. I admit that I am assuming this holds true for all other ticket buyers. Tron: Ares was surely not the disgusting pile of garbage I expected it to be. It was a lovely pile of garbage! Well… I suppose I shouldn’t say “pile of garbage” since I really liked the film. Let’s say it was a lovely GARDEN of garbage. The filmmakers couldn’t possibly be offended by that, could they? Y’ see, rather than a Morbin Time sequel with a Nine Inch Nails soundtrack, it turned out to be a philosophical DEPECHE MODE movie with a Nine Inch Nails soundtrack. If you’re a lover of electronic music, you can’t get any luckier than that!
Visually, Tron: Ares was excitingly exceptional! Green screen movies are not generally my favorites, but the special effects quality did not have me complaining at all. Early on, you see a creepy face talking to the Morbin Time guy. This is the real world creator of these digital entities communicating with his progeny. We experience a dialogue between God and his creation. Sacrilege! Not the being able to have a direct conversation with your creator part, more so the insinuation that Morbin Time is God’s most powerful and beloved of all his constructs!
“I can’t put my love of Depeche Mode into words” says M. Time. Never have I related more to a movie in my entire overly dramatic life! This came after an earlier conversation about Depeche Mode. That’s right, not just one, but TWO Depeche Mode conversations occur in Tron: Ares. After the first one, I wrote myself a little note to jokingly write about how it’s a movie about Depeche Mode. When the second conversation happened near the end, I was like OMDMG (Oh My Depeche Mode Gods!) this really is about the philosophy of what it means to love Depeche Mode! This is when I realized I love Tron 3, because it was legitimately a movie made for people who love both Nine Inch Nails and Depeche Mode.
Two main criticisms need to be addressed. First, Gillian Anderson was the best actor by far, and yet her character served no particular purpose to the plot. I wanted her to be the protagonist or perhaps turn out to be the primary villain. Instead, her character is written in such a non-crucial way that you could take her out of the whole script and the main plot would not change at all. In one scene she is attacked by one of the data peeps, but fortunately Dana Scully is a medical doctor. You can’t kill a doctor! They can just use their heal abilities. The implication is that she really dies, which makes no sense when she could have done doctor stuff to herself! I really disliked that plot hole.
Second criticism, the only Depeche Mode song we get to hear is Just Can’t Get Enough, a song from their first album written by Vince Clarke. Don’t get me wrong, I love Vince Clarke for his contributions to the first Depeche Mode record as well as his later groups, Erasure and Yaz/Yazoo. When discussing the glorious unmitigated beauty of Depeche Mode, Martin Gore’s songwriting is key! Vince Clarke left Depeche Mode after the first album, and Martin wrote almost every Depeche Mode song after that. Just Can’t Get Enough is literally the ONLY Depeche Mode song the average person might know that WASN’T written by Martin Gore. This was absolutely the wrong track to use in a movie that discusses the philosophical beauty of Depeche Mode’s songwriting. I’ve noticed that Just Can’t Get Enough shows up a lot in movies, TV shows, and commercials. I can only guess that it is somehow easier/cheaper to license Vince Clarke compositions than it is for Martin Gore compositions. That is just one of my many Depeche Mode conspiracy theories though. Another for example — keyboard player, Andy Fletcher supposedly has an unreleased solo album called Toast Hawaii that is said to have never surfaced because it was weak material, but maybe it is really due to it accidentally summoning evil demons when audible OR even more plausibly, because it was so epic that it outshined the band’s entire discography.
Ending Explained: Ares realizes Depeche Mode’s music makes a human life worth living.
Final Thoughts: 8/10 Crowns. Tron: Ares would have been 9/10 Crowns if we got a Martin Gore song and more Gillian Anderson in the plot. During the credits, I noticed Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross were also executive producers in addition to composing the score. A sci-fi movie about questioning God’s commandments and loving Depeche Mode? Doesn’t that kind of sound like Trent Reznor secretly had a hand in writing the movie as well? Enough of Dis Drawma Kingg’s conspiracy theories, I want to take a moment to thank YOU, the reader, for tuning in to the 30th episode of drawmakingg.com. My nonsense could not exist without the continued support of offbeat comedy lovers such as yourself!
Much love,
-Drawma Kingg
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THE SMASHING MACHINE 2025 Movie Review – Is it worth watching?
The Smashing Machine is a fighting movie starring AN PEBBLE. Wait, maybe it was A ROCK errr… that doesn’t sound right either. Final answer — THE STONE (singular, unrolling)! It had to be one of those or at least some combination thereof. Smashburger was mostly about two subjects: a bowl (leaving the possibility that the movie is secretly a sequel to Jurassic World Rebirth, a story focusing on Scarlett Johansson’s bowl of cereal – see my previous JWR review) and the losing era of a famous fighter.
Why would you make a movie about a famous person’s losing era? Early in the film, the main character has his first loss after a supposed undefeated era. He then goes through rehabilitation of his personal problems and returns to the ring. You would assume this road leads to him becoming the ultimate champion. Switcheroo! Entering another tournament results in one win, only to lose to the second opponent. At this moment I became perplexed by the point of the whole story. Was it really about an athlete that lost twice with one slightly important win in the middle of both losses? Couldn’t they have made Smashburger about his early undefeated era instead?
I would love to know how they sold the script to a movie studio.
Script Person: It’s about a person’s losing era!
Studio Executive: And then he goes on to win big at the end?
Script Person: No!
Studio Executive: Why don’t you just switch the perspective to the best friend that actually wins the tournament and make your current main character the supportive best friend?
Script Person: No! People will think it’s artsy!
Studio Executive: Artsy you say? Our studio has a reputation to uphold. How much money would you like?
Let’s imagine a movie about Dis Drawma Kingg’s losing era and see if it sounds like it would be greenlit. There was that time I bought a scratch-off ticket with a monkey drinking from a baby bottle on it. Even though it was an ultra losing ticket, scratching it was a little bit fun. One of the many times I asked someone out on a date, they politely said “no”. I ordered two tacos with extra sour cream at a classy fast food restaurant. On the hand-delivered tray, the leftmost taco had plenty of sour cream, but the rightmost taco only had the normal amount of sour cream. They must have forgot, and I didn’t have the courage to say anything after just recently being politely rejected by someone at their spouse’s funeral. Those three days had to be the worst losing era of my entire life. Do you think I should expand these anecdotes into a full script and submit it to a prestigious production company?
Is it worth watching?: Not really.
Final Thoughts: 4/10 Crowns. There really wasn’t anything interesting about The Smashing Machine. Strengths included the acting as well as the slice of life feel to the approach. A surprise appearance by guitarist Tomoyasu Hotei was my favorite part. Talk about a SHREDDING machine! Unfortunately, there was no Battle Without Honor or Humanity in the soundtrack. Some Chicka Chick Chick Chicka Chicka Chick Chick Chicka DUN DUN DUN would have improved the movie significantly. Who knows, maybe we’ll get a sequel called Smash Bill!
DRAWMA KINGG Movie Reviews 