Overly dramatic reviews of both new AND classic movies

  • CAUGHT STEALING 2025 Movie Review – Is He Caught Stealing?

    Normally, I would love any movie about Catwoman, who even Marvel (Professor, of course – see Drawma Kingg Episode 2) agrees is the best superhero of all. This Caught Stealing movie where Catwoman falls in love with Elvis in the ’90s made no sense though. Didn’t Elvis leave this world in the ’70s? They both look very youthful for two people born before the end of the second world war. Triumphantly, Dis Drawma Kingg powered through to the end, because I had to know ONE THING! Is he caught stealing?

    One time when I was a kid I found a penny on the ground on the road next to a neighbor kids house. As I picked it up off the ground, the kid walked over to me and said it was his penny, because it was by his house. We argued what little we knew about property rights for two kids until his dad came out to review the situation. The neighbor kid, Little Johnny Johnson of the esteemed Jhonifus family, explained the situation more accurately than I would have expected to his Jhonified dad. Little Johnny Johnson Senior, the dad, sided with his son and demanded that I return the penny to his “family’s full monetary estate” immediately. Anticipating an adult to agree with me, I was mortified at his response. They, the Johnsons, got their penny back, and I have been cursed with a not-wanting-money complex ever since. Caught Stealing sounded like a movie title I could really RELATE to because of those couple of minutes I refused to give up a penny.

    The Good, the Bad, and the Ain’t Pretty:

    Good1: The acting was perfectly good, no complaints there.

    Good2: Great ’90s soundtrack!

    Good3 or Ain’t Pretty1: Walkin’ On Da Sun is in the soundtrack.

    Bad1: The plot: Oooh there’s a key that goes to something!

    Bad2: If you suspected the trailer kind of gave away the whole movie, you were right!

    Ain’t Pretty1: (or 2 if you count Walkin’ On Da Sun in this category) Catwoman is in less than half of the movie! You thought I was watching this movie for Elvis?

    Is He Caught Stealing?: No. The movie ends shortly after he takes the money.

    Final Thoughts: 6/10 Crowns. The actors are the only reason it deserves above a 5 (totally average) Crown rating. To be fair, 6/10 is pretty high for a movie about Catwoman and Elvis in their 20s with Walkin’ On Da Sun playing in the background. With that being said, Caught Stealing is oddly a very normal movie for director Darren Aronofsky. I was disappointed that the main character never really gets caught with the money. Under these circumstances, there was absolutely nothing my childhood self could relate to in the story. 

  • DRAWMA KINGG SIDEQUEST #3 [Not A Movie Review] – “INVISIBLE SUNLIGHT”

    Invisible Sunlight is a band name Luke has wanted to use since his freshman year of high school. He is now 18 years old, sitting with his three bandmates in a basement where rehearsals take place. After a long final debate on the topic, the four of them agreed that Invisible Sunlight was the best name they had at the time!

    Brenda, Jessii, Kimberly, and Luke were booking their first tour as a band. Until now, they did not have a name for the group. Two shows were already booked with made-up names Jessii gave the concert promoters on the spot over the phone. All four members were serious about having a career in a touring band that writes original music. As recent high school graduates, they truly believed in themselves and were undeniably optimistic. The point of the night’s meeting was to settle on an official band name. It was pre-agreed the best name of the evening would be chosen no matter exactly how good or bad it was. 

    Our four powerful friends have been working summer jobs and saving every possible dollar. They were selling possessions they did not need anymore — baseball cards, video game consoles, you name it! Their lives were all in on the upcoming September tour, as well as the new record they were finishing. Seven songs (of the many they had written) were being recorded at one of the most professional recording studios in their region.

    Surprisingly, Invisible Sunlight were respected in their local community as word got around about the tour. You might say the town even had a bit of a hype for them. The band members were shocked because they had not actually done anything yet. None of them have ever been on tour and the first record wasn’t even finished yet. “That’s a little extra pressure.” Luke thought. “If this isn’t successful, the town will think we are failures.”

    “We gotta play our record first! It’s good luck for the tour!” Said Kimberly. Luke had suggested it was tacky to play their own record as they began their drive, but Kimberly won them all over after she argued luck was a factor. Everyone was happy with the quality of the final recordings for What Can You See In The Darkness?, Invisible Sunlight’s seven-song debut album. At least, the whole town was jamming to it with no one mentioning that they felt it was badly produced or anything like that.

    Halfway to the destination, Jessii informs everyone that they are out of gas. “You weren’t paying attention to the fuel tank, Jessii?” They ask.

    Jessii: Y’see, I understand that cars need gasoline to run. It’s just that I didn’t realize it took CONTINUOUS GAS! Like, you have to keep putting it in! If I had only known this was the type of vehicle that required CONTINUOUS GAS!

    Kimberly [Biting her tongue]: OK, we are all generally surprised you didn’t know that already, but just so you know now – all motor vehicles require regular refueling. Luke, come with me. I have the location of the nearest gas station. You two stay here.

    [Kimberly and Luke are now walking on their way.]

    Kimberly: Luke, Jessii is your best friend. Does he always get you into situations like that?

    Luke: Ha ha oh yes, now that you mention it. But Jessii is a kind friend and an amazing bass player. He will also listen to you attentively if you have to explain some ordinary things sometimes.

    [Approaching the fuel station, they see a strip of several businesses that make it look like a small little town.]

    The fuel station clerk tells them that he could sell them two gas canisters that he thought he had in a back room, but he would have to wait till the store was less busy to spend the time searching for them. They agreed to come back in one hour for two filled canisters. Painfully hungry, they walk across the street to the only restaurant, Pam Pam’s Diner.

    Kimberly: We’ve got an hour anyway. Let’s sit and eat. We can order two meals to go for Brenda and Jessie.

    Luke: Might as well. I just feel a bit guilty eating here comfortably while they are at the vehicle.

    Kimberly: Don’t think about it that way. They are going to be thrilled when we come back with food for them.

    Luke: I suppose you’re right.

    [A waitress approaches.]

    Waitress: You both look exhausted. Is everything OK? What do you need?

    Luke: Just food for us and two meals to go for our other friends. We have to wait an hour for gas across the street. Our vehicle is stranded a mile away.

    Waitress: You poor things! We’ll take good care of you. My name’s Mary. Let’s get some warm food in you.

    Mary seems like an oasis in this dreary town, making everyone in the diner smile and laugh.

    Luke: You notice anything strange about this town?

    Kimberly: Yeah, but I can’t figure out just how.

    Luke: Exactly!

    [Mary returns with Pam, one of the two co-owners of the diner.]

    Pam: Heard you were having continuous car trouble.

    Kimberly [Locking eyes with Luke]: Did we use that word?

    Pam: Not sure what you mean. Mary has volunteered to drive you back to your car after you eat. We take special care of people here.

    [Mary walks away briefly and returns with their meals.]

    Luke: It looks delicious!

    Kimberly: Agreed. Do you remember ordering?

    Still 30 minutes until the fuel clerk told them to return, Kimberly and Luke are able to pace themselves and have a relaxing meal together. The food on their plates (that they could not specifically remember afterwards) seemed to be precisely what their taste buds wanted in that moment.

    One second before either of them would have felt any boredom, Mary pulls up in her SUV with two to-go meals and the fuel canisters already packed in the back seat. Pam refuses to let them pay as they exit to Mary’s SUV.

    Right before they pull up to the stranded vehicle, Mary says: “If you ever want to PARTICIPATE IN CRIME, come see me.”  They get out of Mary’s SUV and watch her disappear hastily.

    Luke: Was she serious, or was that just a joke?

    Kimberly: No idea!

    [Kimberly approaches Jessii and Brenda with their meals, while Luke starts fueling up.]

    Jessii: When did I tell you what I wanted?

    Brenda: Yeah, I don’t remember that either.

    Luke: I’ll drive next shift straight to the venue. We might be late after all that!

    Once they crossed the towns border, the rest of the drive was smooth. Jessii and Brenda were both resting peacefully from eating what looked to be their favorite foods. They pull under a sign that horrifies both Kimberly and Luke in the front of the vehicle. The third band listed on the venue sign is “The Somethingorothers”.

    [The concert promoter meets them as they exit the vehicle.]

    Promoter: The Somethingorothers? You’re late. You’re on first. Take your gear straight to the stage.

    Kimberly: Jessii, did you tell the promoter that our name is The Somethingorothers?

    Jessii: Yeah, I said all one word for Somethingorothers.

    Brenda: Wow, Jessii that was the best you could do?

    Jessii: Don’t blame me! That’s why we had to finally settle on a name that one night. It’s only two shows before we started telling promoters our name was Invisible Sunlight.

    Brenda: They’re going to call us The Somethingorothers at the next show too?

    Jessii: Nah, I think that one was the Sumtin’ Sumtin’s. 

    Although upset, they all start laughing at the situation. There was no other psychological way forward. They moved the gear on stage efficiently, leaving time for a 10 minute sound check. Right before they start the first song, Luke says “We are not actually called The Somethingorothers. We are Invisible Sunlight!”

    What transpired was possibly awesome, but there was no real way to gauge it. Not even from the narrator’s point of view. The audience had 28 people in it, including staff and the two other bands. Most of the people who actually came for the show were just waiting for the headliner, Fortune Maximus. Kimberly (keyboardist) and Luke (guitarist) traded off singing lead vocals every other song for about 35 minutes. To all four of the band members, it felt like time sped up, and they couldn’t believe their time on stage was already over. Brenda kept the tracks at their normal tempos though. She was always a reliable tank on the drums in that way.

    Brenda, Kimberly, and Jessii go to sit at the merchandise table, while Luke is stopped by an audience member. She discloses that her name is Julia, and says she thought Invisible Sunlight were “otherworldly”.

    Julia: I have never seen a full group all play so passionately before!

    Luke: Oh ha. I hadn’t thought of it like that. You must be right though. We all love what we’re doing.

    Julia: Would you like to get some fresh air with me?

    Luke: Oh yeah, sure.

    [The two step outside.]

    [The camera pans to Brenda, Kimberly, and Jessii at the merchandise table.]

    Brenda: Would you have thought Luke would be the first of us that someone would try to flirt with on this tour?

    Kimberly and Jessii: NO!

    Jessii: Do you think the audience liked us tonight?

    Kimberly: I couldn’t tell, but I think so.

    Brenda: I couldn’t see much from where my drum kit was set up. I felt amazing on stage though!

    Kimberly: Yeah me too!

    Jessii: I as well!

    The trio sells a few vinyl records and T-shirts, finishes watching the other bands, and then packs up the merchandise for the road. The promoter stops by and hands Kimberly $32 for their share of the night’s earnings.

    [They leave through the front door and immediately see Luke and Julia talking outside.]

    Brenda: Hey Luke, we’re packing up for the road. We sold a few albums!

    Julia: Oh, can I still buy the vinyl version?

    Brenda: Sure, want a T-shirt or some stickers?

    Julia: Yes, please! All of that. [Julia hands Brenda a wad of cash] No change, please.

    [The other three pack up while Luke says his goodbyes to the mysterious woman.]

    Luke enters the vehicle, exhibiting signs of bliss and despair simultaneously. They question him about this Julia person and how he disappeared for most of the night. He reveals that his brain kept trying to tell him Julia was his future wife.

    Luke: I know this sounds like a fantasy, but it felt like my brain could see an inevitable future. This is nuts, right? Y’all know I’ve never been prone to this kind of thinking.

    He started to feel embarrassed about what he said. Kimberly noticed he really did have some kind of traumatic or life-altering experience in some way, so she decided to change the subject and try to cheer him up.

    Kimberly: Your guitar playing rocked tonight! Someone that bought the album said so too!

    Luke: Wow, really?! That’s awesome!

    Brenda: Well what do you expect? C’mon we’re Invisible Sunlight! On to the next gig!

    Jessi: Actually, for the next gig we’re The Sumtin’ Sumtin’s. 

    Luke, Kimberly, and Brenda: Jessii!

  • ANGEL’S EGG 1985 Movie Review – What Is It About?

    What is Angel’s Egg? This question, as well as the question in the title card (What is it about?) are both things I do not know the answer to. Why not muse on them, explore them? Super spoiler alert: you probably should not read this epic on the scale of Beowulf if, by chance, you have not seen the aforementioned extremely obscure movie yet!

    We can get the first question out of the way quickly. As to the question – What is Angel’s Egg? A movie. I am probably right on that one but far from definitely right. To say it is a movie is to assert that movies exist and that I am an existing thing that experiences. Awful bold of me, isn’t it? If I ignore all of that, I would still have trouble telling you what KIND of movie it is. I am pretty sure it is animated and not live action. I am probably right on that too. You could argue it to be an avant-garde film, a drama film, a dystopian film, a surreal film, a horror, film, or perhaps not a film at all.

    Lots of possibilities here, but if I roll with Angel’s Egg being a movie that is probably animated and not live action – that leads us to the next question — What is it about? I have no idea what this movie is about! There is a girl running around with an egg of unknown origin. She is trying to keep it safe when she meets a man with an odd weapon. These are arguably the only two “characters” in the movie, and they both barely speak.

    Shadow fish! One other thing I am pretty sure this movie is about is shadow fish being all fishy and chips. Shadows of large fish appear randomly and are hunted by groups of soldiers. Their weapons are completely ineffective to deez fisheez, yet they still try every time. I kinda liked the shadow fish. Not sure why the soldiers were so mad at ‘em.

    Oh yeah, ABOUTNESS — the original bit I came up with for today’s episode and totally almost forgot to include. Taking a step back, why does a movie have to be about something? What is this aboutness that must be tied to it? Angel’s Egg objectively defies the notion that a movie has to clearly be about something! Mad respect to the filmmakers for that accomplishment. So maybe movies don’t ever have to be about anything, and why should they? What a ridiculous expectation of them when you really think about it!

    Final Thoughts: 7/10 Crowns, but I don’t even know what Angel’s Egg is or what it’s about, so my opinion on this is worth nothing (as always). I have a feeling it’s a movie I will like even more on a second and third watch. OK, non-silly best guess – This Drawma Kingg thinks it may be about cycles of life and death.

  • FRANKENSTEIN 2025 Movie Review – Is It Worth Watching?

    Animated and alone, the architect is immersed in the process of creation. Stitching together a masterwork of history (such as 35 episodes of Drawma Kingg that are somehow slightly interconnected) requires electrifying focus. Frankenstein is fundamentally a movie about a son and dad fighting with each other. That was pretty much the same plot in the last movie I reviewed, and I would be bored talking about it two weeks in a row. Dis Drawma Kingg is ‘bout to talk about NOT the movie!

    So 35 episodes of Drawma Kingg already, huh? How did I manage that? Some critics argue it’s because they show no signs of intelligence and thus do not fatigue my brain at all. I would probably agree with that too. So what was the point of 35 random themes of the week?

    Other than Ban Smith, William Aris/Interlock, and Katie Nightfire appearing twice each, there weren’t really any reoccurring characters. Well, I got news for you, Chuck! Drawma Kingg Sidequest #3, the new issue of my pictureless comic book series, is coming soon, and it features BRAND NEW CHARACTERS! After #3, you can expect some new stories about returning characters like the superhero known as Interlock. You might even get a solo Katie Nightfire story! Who knows? Maybe I should have a sequel to that surreal story where the guy can’t properly focus his mind on the unnamed beach stuff that he merely “seems” to be doing.

    Oh the point though? Drawmakingg.com’s purpose is to make you laugh and to give you an archive of enjoyable reading material at your fingertips for any time you are bored. Occasionally, there are non-comedy episodes too that are just meant to be enjoyable reads. That’s really all there is to it in terms of intention. Accidentally, the supposed movie reviews and other stories have become an interconnected network of references that have turned it into a sort of words-only cinematic universe

    Is It Worth Watching?: Yes! I forgot to mention the movie was really good!

    Final Thoughts: 8/10 Crowns maybe? I am actually really struggling with the exact number of crowns to give Frankenstein. Carrying the whole film strongly, Oscar Isaac was an absolute perfect fit for Victor Frankenstein. Guillermo del Toro’s directing and the special effects were also super cool! Woulda been nice if it woulda came to streaming services by Halloween this year for extra spooky. Why O Why, I ask! Why can’t movie release dates be exactly what I want them to BE?